youngblood | a.i.

twenty eight || no judgement

Saturday, October 17th- 9:37 a.m.

When I opened my eyes the next morning, I was prepared for his arms to pull me tighter when I tried to move, just like they had every time before. But when I rolled over to face him and he wasn't there, I felt my heart fall from my chest.

The first thing my mind fell to was that he had left- that's what everyone does to me. Hell, even my shadow disappears when the sun sets. I looked around the room, hoping maybe he was just somewhere else, but he was nowhere to be seen. His side of the bed was remade, his phone gone off the table, and those signs only twisted that get feeling more.

Actually kissing and touching him last night put a level of trust in him that he didn't understand. The last time someone had ever touched me like that was Andrew, and being able to move on from what he had done to me was a huge step for me. I tended to cope by blocking the memories out, but reliving those moments with someone else was handing over a level of trust I hadn't yet given to anyone else.

As much as I shouldn't, I was starting to trust Ashton. I had a deep-rooted feeling it would only hurt me in the end, but it didn't seem to matter how much I pushed him away- he always pulled me back in.

I got up before I let the worst of my mind get to me, leaving my things where they were. I slowly wandered towards the door in just his shirt. I pulled it open, internally praying that the worst part of my mind wasn't right. And thankfully, it wasn't. I peeked out the door, catching sight of Ashton walking around the kitchen with two pans in his hands. I pulled the door the rest of the way open, a smile pulling on my face as he rushed around, shushing himself when he got too loud. I pulled it shut behind me, trying not to make any noise as he focused on whatever he was trying to do.

I felt myself smile, and a real one at that. Listening to him curse under his breath when he'd get too loud or gently set something down so it didn't make a noise just made it impossible not to. I slowly walked towards him, not wanting to disturb him, but wanting to know what he was doing. I felt myself laugh under my breath at his body language, completely confused but refusing to say a word. I watched as he looked up at me, relief washing over his face only to be replaced by his previous frustration.

"What are you doing?" I laughed as I reached the counter, picking myself up onto it to sit, crossing my legs underneath myself.

"I was trying to make food for us, but I don't know how to cook," he admitted, his frustrations slowly starting to melt in my presence.

"I thought there wasn't food in this cabin?" I questioned, mockingly raising an eyebrow.

"I went out and got some before you got up," he explained. "And I was going to make it before you woke up too but I still don't know which pan is non-stick and now you're awake."

I smiled at his gesture, finding it funny how annoyed he was with himself. I hopped down off the counter, walking over in his direction. "I can help. What were you making?" I asked as I stood beside him by the counter, looking at the ingredients he had sprawled out.

"The goal was an omelet, but I bought six eggs and have already burnt three of them," he explained, looking over at me. He had the smallest smile on his lips too, almost embarrassed to admit it to me.

"That's fine. We can make it work," I told him as I scooted him out of the way of the stove. I picked up both the pans he had out, settling for the smaller one and setting it on the stove.

"Now which one of those fuckers is non-stick?" Ashton asked as I set it down, making me laugh more.

"Neither," I told him, turning around to see him start laughing too. "But you don't need one."