addicted: judd birch & stass

CHAPTER 26: high

i searched through the shopping centre in an attempt to find judd. i looped around the aisles of the shop where i left him and went to the stores next to it, but he wasn't there. i slid open my phone from my bag and decided to send him a text.

Today, 1:34PM

🔵hey dickhead sorry i walked off i was in a mood. where r u? x

i locked my phone and reached into one of my bag pockets until i could feel a few coins between my fingers. i walked over to a shop and picked up a red ultra monster and payed for it before deciding to stroll back to the park, since judd wasn't replying.

i got to the slide and climbed up again. for some reason i expected brooklyn to be there, but he wasn't. my heart dropped. i don't know why i cared so much to be honest, but it felt fucking miserable to smoke alone in such a shit mood.

i opened my snapchat camera and stared blankly at the reflection on my screen. i fixed my makeup with what was left of a shitty boots eyeliner in my bag and pulled another cig out.

i knew i needed to steer myself off of the nic eventually but i couldn't help it. it made the pain bearable, and after all - judd wasn't going to be here any time soon - so i might as well kill some fuckin time.

i pulled my clipper out and lit it. it was windy so i had to relight it a few times before i could get enough smoke out of it. although the park was usually busy, there was barely any people there. judging from all the stubbed out cigarettes and druggie packets, i think adults knew not to take their scraggly kids up this slide.

out of no where, my phone buzzed, and it was judd.

Today, 1:56PM

⚪️send me ur location i'm coming to pick u up now

i sent my location back and waited in the cold, tapping the ash off my cig and staring down the crevices of the slide. i finished it down to the filter, stubbed it out, and went down the slide so i could get out of the park quickly.

i saw judd's car in the distance and walked over to it. i swung the door open and got in.

'where the fuck have you been retard?' judd asked, his hands pressed on the steering wheel.

'got jealous of that bitch you were with, so this is where i ended up lol.'

'lauren? she's literally got a boyfriend i think, you dickhead. can we just drive home i'm bored as fuck and i've been sober since yesterday.'

'okay.' i sighed, kicking back into the seat.

we drove home and decided we were gonna buy a few grams. last time i got high was at school and I was only a bit fucked so I was excited to get properly zooted. i usually got anxious when i was high with my friends, but judd's parents let him smoke in the garden so we decided we'd smoke outside then go and chill in his room and watch a movie or whatever.

we got home and i texted my dealer. we agreed on buying 10g to last us a while, and judd said he'd pay. we pulled up next to the park near his house and picked up, and the dealer walked up to the window with a baggie.

'this shit isn't haze, i know you hate it.' he said, looking right at me.

'thank god you noticed.' i laughed, leaning over to swap the money over as i clutched the bag. we nodded him off, and carried on our drive back to judd's house.

it was only around 2:30pm so i convinced judd to watch some boring rom coms to kill some time. we were about 3 shit films in, before we realised it was 7pm.

'i'll roll.' judd said, yawning and getting up from the bed. i nodded and grabbed my lighter from my bag. he got out his rizzler packet, pulled out a paper and motioned to me to get him his grinder. he grinded up about 3g to have some spare if we wanted more, and spread the weed evenly on the paper. he added a few sprinkles of baccy, put the filter in, then began to roll. he licked it and sealed it neatly, putting it into his mouth.

'bring your lighter, we'll go outside now.' i nodded and he grabbed my hand to pull me outside. we grabbed some deck chairs and sat down.

i leaned over with my jet and lit the zoot. he took a few puffs then passed it to me. i had a few and passed it back. it was only about 10 minutes of passing it back and forth before i felt the high set in.

i began to disassociate, which was typical. my vision was blurry but i just clutched judd's hand and giggled. he finished it off and stubbed it on the ground of the garden patio.

'you alright faggot?' judd asked, pulling me into him.

'yeah i'm just disassociating like a bitch lol.' the world was so slow, but i felt calm and safe with judd. i began laughing and he did too.

'let's get a fuck ton of food and go and make out in my room with my records on.'

'sounds like a plan.' i jumped, running to the back door to get into the kitchen. we spent the remainder of the night eating and laughing, with me sat in judd's lap, kissing him in between breaths. eventually it became the AM, and i was tired enough to fall asleep with my clothes still on, sprawled comfortably in judd's bed. i wish my days would loop like this, over and over and over and over.