addicted: judd birch & stass

CHAPTER 31: deadbeat debbie

we started the descent to my mums. judd's trainers scraped on the pavement as he slid his arm round my shoulder and interlocked his fingers with mine. school children were making their way home beside us, giggling and kicking rocks, making stupid fucking tiktoks or whatever 13 year old's do nowadays.

we reached my drive and i took a shaky breath as the gravel pressed against the soles of my shoes. we got to the door and i tried to pull whatever mental stability i had together as i pressed the doorbell. bear in mind i was still high as shit, not really the best state of sobriety to be in when your druggie boyfriend meets your mother.

the door swung open and my mum so obviously forced a smile as her eyes moved from me to judd.

'so this is judd.. i'm guessing?' she barely clambered, beckoning us to step inside as she clanged the door shut behind us.

'hi debbie, yeah i'm judd, nice to meet you' judd nodded, reaching out to shake hands with her. this was so unlike him, but it was an act he had to warm to in order to be able to even keep me within fucking arms reach.

'nice to meet you to.' my mum replied, so obviously lying through her teeth. we walked into the dining room stood in an awkward unison, mainly with my mum searching every contortion of judd's body. i wondered what would happen next.

'oh shit-' judd started, and it wasn't long before my eyes shifted to the floor and saw a grinder fall out of his pocket, crashing loudly onto the floor. my heart fucking stopped. this must be a joke. now ..... really?

he scrambled to pick it up as chunks of grinded weed were spread unevenly over the wooden ground. my mum shot me a look that i know would catch me up in however many minutes. just as he was done cleaning his substances up, my mum pointed to the room next door and swiftly grabbed me by the wrist, reaching to shut the door behind her.

judd shot me a look and i just shrugged worryingly. i knew this was about to end badly.

'do you want to fucking explain why your waste of space boyfriend is carrying weed into my house?' my mum spat, glaring into my eyes and towering over me, despite our close height difference.
'it's not that much of a fucking secret that he smokes mum, same way i do whenever you pull off this shit.'
'you're in big trouble you stupid brat, i'm going to speak to him right now and chances are you'll never see that cheaply dyed blue hair again.'

i ran out the room to find judd, but the cow followed behind me. instead of finding a dirtbag 6'1 teenager stood awkwardly with his hands in his pockets, we were met with a window pulled open, with half of his body perching onto the outside sill.
'i'm out of here. fuck you deadbeat debbie.' judd said. and he was gone.

i know my life's had some pretty shitty moments before this, but this ones gotta be in the top stupid fucking 5. this had to be some type of lucid dream i was gonna snap out of and be met with my cracking plastered ceiling. but no. this was real life.

'i'm off, don't know when i'll be home, but you've taken everything from me in life mum, and now you wanna take the one thing i wanna stay for. disrespectfully, fuck you.'

i didn't really have time to think. i grabbed all the stuff remaining in my drug box and shoved it into my school bag. i grabbed a few tops, fishnets, some underwear, my charger, my toothbrush, my make up bag, some skincare shit, and left. there really wasn't any spare seconds to leave with much else. i flew out the door with the wind gushing through my hair and stared blankly at the street in front of me. did i have anywhere to go...? fuck no. was judd pissed off at me for something my birth giver did? certainly. was i undeniably fucked? yeah.

i wanted to call j but something in me knew it was too soon. i could call m to crash at hers but god knew what she was up to. it was worth a try though, right? her house was round the corner from the shop that the local nonce served at, so i could grab some cigs and drink on the way. seemed like a fair plan.

i frantically scrolled through my contacts until her name was on my screen. i tapped the phone button and waited impatiently for her to answer.

'stass?'
'hi m it's me, sorry this is so short notice, but mum fucked up again and-'
'just come over. mum and dad have taken chanel with them to some family event that they knew i wouldn't go to...'

she paused.

'the house has been free for like a day but i didn't really know what to do. i've just been sat in my garden smoking like packets at a time, waiting for a sign that anyone cares. i'm sorry i didn't get to you sooner. life hasn't been the grandest.'

a tear cringly pricked in my eyes as i thought of what to reply.
'bitch you know i love you with every fried brain cell in my body. i'll be over in 20. i'm walking to the shop to get some shit, we're gonna have a blast, and i promise you we'll get through this together.'
'i love you too. see you in 20.'

the phone beeped and i started walking. i decided i would text j when i got there: i still had to think about what to do about school, and more importantly, my mum. i found a £20 note in my pocket and got it out ready for the shop.