addicted: judd birch & stass

CHAPTER 32: the house party

i started my walk to the corner shop in the ever changing british weather whilst my bag swung on my shoulder. i quietly prayed that my mum wouldn't report me missing or make it known that i had left home again. i just hope she holds out for at least a few days so in that time i can figure out what went wrong with judd.

the corner shop came into view and i took a deep breath. i'd been served countless times, don't get me wrong, but it didn't mean that my anxiety didn't kick me in the ass every time the bell rang on the door as it swung open. i pretended to stare at items on the shelf whilst i waited for a tory looking customer to leave, until it was just me and the corner shop man, staring at each other forlornly.

'what do you need then this time?' he asked, eyeing me up and down. being objectified was worth the substance abuse in my books. i cleared my throat and proposed a deal.

'i want 2 packs of b&h silver cigarettes and a bottle of that knock off smirnoff vodka. i only have £20 so i'm a tenner off but i promise i'll pay you next time. i swear on my life.'

he thought about it for a while and then rolled his eyes and threw the items in front of me. 'give me the fucking cash then.'

i threw the £20 note at him and shoved the shit into my bag. he didn't really have the right to have an attitude, he was the one selling shit to a girl who was 2 weeks off being 16.

i left the shop and turned a few street corners until M's house came into view. fuck me, her house was big that's for sure, and we were gonna have a bash. she had some liquor and shit mixers hiding in some cupboards so i knew we had enough to get sloshed with, aswell as the vodka i'd just bought. i reached the door and leaned up to press the doorbell.

the door opened and M stood there. she was wearing grey joggers, a black cami, chains, sliders, and had no make up on, apart from some old crusty eyeliner and mascara that she'd assumably cried off. instead of speaking i just threw my arms around her and shut the door behind us.

'come on bitch we're going to have the best time. i promise you. let's talk.' i said.

'alright, follow me to my room.'

i'd only been to M's house like twice before this, and this was the first time i'd been there without her parents & sister. it felt more comfortable even for me, who barely knew her family. but i didn't need to know a lot to know that life was better without them.

we sat down on M's bed and i pulled the stuff from the corner shop out of my bag and dropped it on her black duvet covers.
'these are the cigs you smoke, right?'

'yes thank you stass, i literally just ran out and i cant be asked for roll.'

'it's alright, if we run out again i'll roll you a few, even though they'll be shit. anyway, what drink do you wanna start with?' i replied.

M tilted her head. 'actually, i was thinking about saving it for later tonight. i kind of want to throw a party.'

my heartbeat spiked. this was fucking perfect. a perfect excuse to get wasted, and a perfect way to spend the night after the shitshow that just went down at my house. i screamed like a child and hugged M.

'omg bitch you don't even know how good this is gonna be. do you still have those huge fuck off speakers? we can plug them in and i've got a playlist we can slap on. who are we inviting?'

'yeah i still have the speakers, mum left them with me - what a fucking idiot. invite the whole year and anyone else you want. invite judd if you want.'

should i invite him? i didn't really know. i wanted to, because when i'm wasted i always long for him, but in this moment it didn't seem like he wanted to see me in any circumstances, even if i was throwing my guts up in my friends en suite. but fuck it. better to invite than to not, right?

i opened imessage on my phone.

Today, 5:37PM

🔵come to the party at M's tonight. addy is JB16 371. be there for 7

i locked my phone and didn't bother to wait for him to read it or start to typing. it was his choice, i was gonna get absolutely fucked up regardless of what he did.

'just invited him. what are you gonna wear?' i asked M.

'probably my fishnets with that black skirt and one of my skanky crop tops, i'm gonna start getting ready now. do you wanna borrow anything?'

M had this black dress that i had wanted to borrow off of her for months. it had skull print detailing and fit her perfectly. the straps had silver links on them and it would be the perfect thing to wear to piss judd off, as it was short and showed a fuck ton of cleavage.

'can i borrow that black dress you have? i know it's a long shot but i-''
before i could finish my sentence M threw the dress at me and giggled.

'go put it on and start your make up, i'll get the speaker ready and we can do shots when we're ready.'

this night was about to be fucking perfect.