Our Hearts Collided (MxM)

Chapter 1

A/N: Enjoy <3 Thanks for all the love so far, it's good to be back writing my precious beans. 

Song: Old Insecurities by Winona Oak

Chapter 1

Vince's POV

It should have been simple, attend baby Rowan's first birthday party, drop off some gifts, maybe even stay for food and socialize. Yet my hands were sweaty and shaking as I stared at the house in front of me. I was already late, practically dragging myself to Aspen and Sarah's home, wondering if they'd notice if I don't show up. But I already knew the answer to that; they had already texted me five times collectively, another three messages from Xavier.

With my feet glued to the pavement, I could see him from the window. In the kitchen, Simon stood beside Sarah and Aspen, baby Rowan bouncing on his hip as they wore matching cone hats. It wasn't like I hadn't known he'd be here, but it didn't stop the suffocating feeling I felt from seeing him again. Watching from this window had stirred up a memory that I wasn't ready to relive yet again.

It was impossible not to think about that night. The sun was just about to set, but apart from that, everything felt the same—the laughter, the smell of fresh pizza and burning candles, even those silly cone hats. Even to the way Simon smiled and pointed at the cake before scooping up part of the icing and smearing it on the poor kid's face.

It didn't help that Rowan looked just like Stephen in his arms, exactly how I remembered that night.

Behind them, Xavier was grabbing paper plates, Jonah resting on his hip while Lilah gripped his shirt. They were laughing, smiles donning their faces as I remained in the middle of the walkway, still debating whether I should even bother going in. Aside from the few times Aspen and Sarah had me over for dinner, and Rowan clung to me like one of his blankets, I was hardly a part of Rowan's life. I bet Simon interacted with him more, especially since he had named him.

They looked like a family in there, warm and inviting just like Simon's family had been. The gift felt heavier in my hands, even though it was only a stuffed animal. Now that I thought about it, was this even an appropriate gift for a child? Wouldn't I just dampen the mood by being in that house? Maybe I should've given something more practical, like diapers or wipes.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, I looked into the kitchen window, this time Sam standing near Simon. My heart sank, watching as they smiled at each other, Sam whispering something in his ear to elicit a laugh. It hadn't been the first time I had seen them like this, and I knew I had no right to feel this way, to feel hurt when we had agreed things were fine, but it didn't stop that sinking feeling in my chest. After a few sessions with Chase, it dawned on me that I had wanted that. I had been—still was jealous over someone that treated him right, that was making him happier than I ever could. That revelation alone had made me seriously rethink things; being jealous wouldn't solve anything, wouldn't make things alright. Yet, I could still feel it gnawing at me, that bitter feeling that I should be there instead. Even my wolf was pacing about, antsy as I was.

Rowan made a face as he squirmed in Simon's arms, turning his body to look at Sam as the two laughed about whatever it was they were talking about. They continued their banter, Rowan grinning and grabbing pieces of the cake with his bare hands, making a mess that rivaled Xavier's in the kitchen.

A couple of minutes passed as I stood and watched, probably just as crazy as I looked on that drunken night, watching a family celebrate a child's first birthday. Deciding to brave the frustration Sarah, Aspen, and Xavier would have for not showing, I approached the house, planning on just dropping the gift off on the porch before going back to my room and hiding away like I always did when Simon visited them. That is until I saw Rowan look toward me, icing-covered hands reaching out to me. A gesture he made whenever he wanted me to pick him up. His little feet kicked about, wanting to move around on his wobbly legs.