Our Hearts Collided (MxM)

Chapter 11

A/N: Sorry it's so late uwu

Simon's POV

"I'm sorry," I said softly after his sniffling finally died down. We hadn't sat there long, but I'm sure his sinuses would feel very congested later. "I'm sorry for the things I said and the way I left."

He shook his head as his fingers traced circles along the back of my hand as we had done before. "I should be apologizing."

It was my turn to shake my head. "No, I didn't think about how this would affect us."

"You couldn't have known," he mumbled. "We did this to be happy, and it just... didn't work out the way we planned. And I said some things that weren't true and made you even more unhappy."

"We both did."

With his eyes fixated on the ground, he let out a faint hum.

"But," I started. "As I said in that letter, I knew you needed time—knew that you weren't completely ready, and I pushed you too far. I was scared you were slipping away again, and I thought holding onto you tightly would keep you from falling. But that wasn't the case. I needed to let you figure things out on your own, even if that meant being away from each other. In a way, I guess it did help in sorting out this whole mess of emotions."

"But—"

"It wasn't easy—goddess, it wasn't—and I wondered if we were really doing the right thing, but I don't think it's made this—us and the bond— any less than what it is." I looked up at him earnestly. "At least for me, I know what I was doing wrong and why it made things worse."

His eyes narrowed. "Wrong? How could you have been wrong?"

I squeezed his hand. "I needed to be patient, Vince. Instead of worrying about the future—about our bond, the pack, even the idea of mating—I practically abandoned what I needed to focus on. On you, the present. Michael had just died, and I was asking so much from you. I didn't think about what you were feeling or how everything affected you. I was selfish to think that everything would be fine after Michael died, that we could just have our happy ending right then and there. It was exactly how I was when I was sixteen—I didn't stop to think about what you were feeling."

"You were patient," he insisted, shaking his head. "Extremely patient, even now. I mean, you waited years, Simon. You had a right to be selfish—you had a right to want those things. I was the one that—"

He sucked in a breath before continuing, "I was scared to tell you how I felt, and that only held you back. You weren't pushing me any more than I was resisting."

"In the end, we both got hurt." The way his eyes fell to the floor made my heart ache.

"And now you're back," he mumbled, slowly raising his gaze. "Are—are you staying?"

"Well, I'd have to get my things from the apartment, but I'm sure Sam wouldn't mind dropping it off either. It's more than just a bag this time, but I don't think it would take more than one trip to bring it all here."

His face flushed. "I meant today."

"Oh." It was my turn to look away, embarrassed. "Yes, then. And the day after and after that if you want."

He let out a heavy breath before looking towards me. "I'd like that."

A small smile spread across his face as he held my hand firmly, glancing down at them intertwined between our chests. Slowly, I pulled our hands up to my lips, kissing his knuckled before looking up at him. Whether it was because we were holding hands or from the bond itself, I could hear his heartbeat race as his eyes looked to mine, enthralled in the gesture.