17.

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Song for the chapter: Always by Ashe
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My eyes opened to see golden sunrise light streaming in through the windows, onto my skin, warming it like a hot summers day. Dust particles floated around the room like confetti. It took a few seconds of being conscious to realize where I was laying, and how hungover I was. My head immediately started pounding. I felt like I was going to vomit.

I rolled over on my side, trying to suppress the nausea, but then I really came to my senses. There was a pair of strong arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me in close to him. As I rolled over I saw Niall's face, resting against the pillow, eyes still closed, breathing slow and steadily. It was the calmest I'd ever seen him.

I had to get out of there.

I strategically wiggled out of his grasp. When I rolled out of the bed I realized that I had no clothes, and I had to go to work.

Today was my last day of work.

Holy shit.

I felt immediate panic set in.

Here I was, standing naked in Horan's bedroom, while I was preparing to go undercover for god knows how long.

Why did I sleep with him?

That was the stupidest decision I've ever made.

"Phil?" I heard Niall groan from the bed. "What are you doing? It's so early."

A wave of dread washed over me. He looked so beautiful. His hair was fluffed from rolling around on the pillows. His tired eyes shone like sapphires in the sunshine, and he looked at me like I was the entire universe compiled into a human form.

I couldn't give him what he wanted from me.

"I shouldn't be here." I frantically looked around for my clothes on the floor. I couldn't wear my dress back to work, so I took Niall's white shirt and wore it around me like an oversized dress, just to cover myself for the moment.

"What do you mean?" He sat up and frowned.

"Last night should not have happened." I huffed. "It meant nothing."

"What?" He was coming to his senses while I finished up the buttons.

"I shouldn't have slept with you. It didn't mean anything to me. We're not- this isn't-"

"It didn't mean anything?" He looked hurt. "It sure as hell didn't feel like nothing Ophelia."

"Well it was." I pulled myself together. "That's never happening again." I walked to the bathroom.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He shouted after me. After a moment, he appeared in the bathroom doorway in his boxers.

"I can't be anything with you." I told him.

"Then why did we have sex?" He looked at me in disbelief.

"Because I'm leaving tomorrow." I faced him. "I could be dead before I have the chance to have sex again. I wanted to make sure my last time was good."

"So you used me?" 

"You should be flattered that I picked you." I said heartlessly.

Repressing my feelings was something I was exceptionally good at. I looked at Niall with cold, dead eyes, telling him I had no feelings for him while my heart screamed at me to give the poor boy a hug.

"What the fuck are you saying?" He acted as if someone just shot him in the chest.

"It's not a big deal." I shook my head, finding myself distracted with my hair in the mirror. "It was just a hookup. One night only."

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