"It starts as a love story, but it isn't that way when you get deeper into the circumstances we are attempting to move away just to love one another." -Jaehyun.
Started: September 15, 2020.
Completed: September 22, 2021.
|NCT 127 Fanfiction| COMPLET...
Some hours ago, I said goodbye to Ten. I thanked him one last time for helping me with my sister's case and then returned to do what I needed to get done. I packed all my belongings in my bag, took my belongings from home, and got ready to leave. But as I waited for Johnny to come home, I notified my team about the information Ten helped me decipher and then continued to stay steady. I looked around the apartment, took in the smell of Johnny's cologne only to remember him, and let myself feel calm before facing my lover.
Right now, I'm sitting down on the couch's arm, looking down at the floor while expecting the door to open. And like I thought, I heard the entrance and a door closing, then revealing a tired Johnny behind it. Deep inside, I feel awful for making Johnny go through this right now, but I have to think about myself. Right now, I don't want to be with him. I only desire some space and close my sister's case.
-Jaehyun? – Johnny looked at me, briefly turning on the lights. I glanced back at him, not knowing how to start this argument. -Are you okay? – He asked before leaving his jacket on the bar stool.
-When did you plan to tell me about Leyla's connection with Jongyul? – I questioned, briefly looking down at my hands. -Yes, I figured it out with some investigation. But I honestly expected to know about it from your voice. – I sighed, then looking back at Johnny, seeing the concern all over his face.
-I wanted to tell you. – Johnny spoke.
-Did you honestly mean those words? Because you had multiple opportunities to tell me something about my sister, but you never did. At your company, in my office, at the headquarters, and when we were here in your apartment. You had all of those moments to tell me something, but you never did it. – I claimed, feeling frustrated while gazing at Johnny.
-You have all the reasons to be mad at me, but I only wanted to protect you. – Johnny worriedly said.
-Protect me? Johnny, for god's sake! I'm the captain of a unit in KNP; how can I be safe? My work is to put criminals behind bars, and do you think a secret of this magnitude would protect me? – I questioned, upset.
-What did you want me to do back then? I knew that you wouldn't take your sister's identity lightly. So, I decided to keep silent until I knew the right time to tell you. – Johnny spoke while looking at me, slightly annoyed.
-Ever since we reunited, you thought of me as someone weak. I did fear losing you multiple times; we both did. But that doesn't mean that I can't handle my emotions, Johnny. – I claimed before standing up, briefly facing him. -I hate to remind you where I come from, but it seems that you don't get through your head I got trained to be tough and mighty. I'm not only your boyfriend; I'm also a man that can defend himself and endure anything. – I bitterly said, showing disappointment through my expression.
-You worried about me the same way, and I also told you to treat me with the same respect you ask, Jaehyun. – Johnny pointed out.
-But, it's different, Johnny! – I shouted, upset. -You want to take revenge on somebody, and I want to make justice for my sister. You require to break the law only to do what you desire, and I don't need to do that. When I pointed my gun at you was because I didn't want you to regret something worse. – I sincerely spoke before stepping closer to Johhny.
-What do you want me to say? Huh? I planned to tell you about your sister, I only worried about you, and I never intended to hurt you. But it seems that for you, I did the complete opposite. – Johnny spoke, his expression severely changing.
-And do you blame me? Johnny, the things you hid away from me are crucial for my investigation and the case. You are lucky that I won't arrest you for not cooperating with the police. – I spoke while still looking at him, upset. -I won't forgive you for what you did, not now. So, let's take our separate ways and stop bothering each other. – I said before walking away from Johnny, briefly taking my bag from the floor. I walked beside Johnny, but he took my arm, stopping my way out.
-What's going to happen with Jongyul? The case? The warehouses? – Johnny questioned.
-Jongyul is yours; you can do whatever you want with him, and we won't chase you. The rest is up to me and KNP. – I spoke, not looking back at Johnny.
-Jae, let's talk about it. I can't see you go again. – Johnny spoke before holding my cheek, causing me to turn to stare at him.
-John, I won't pretend that you didn't hurt me with everything you hid away from me. You knew about Leyla this entire time, and you didn't say anything. You saw how I struggled to discover my sister's connection with Jongyul, and you didn't care! – I mournfully spoke before placing his hand away from me. -Right now, I don't want to be with you. I can't do it, Johnny. – I repeated, briefly looking away from him while feeling my tears about to fall.
-Do you honestly believe that I wanted to hurt you? No! I thought I had time to tell you before you could investigate something about the matter. – Johnny claimed before holding against him. -Please, stay with me. – Johnny murmured, but I pushed him away while tears started to run down my cheeks.
-Complete your revenge, get whatever you want from Jongyul, and continue working in your company. But I will walk at my pace, and I won't change how I feel just because I don't want to lose you. Let me heal and think about myself. Maybe you can also find some peace after today. – I said before stroking Johnny's hair, then kissing his cheek.
I stepped away, stared at Johnny one last time, and then walked towards the entrance.
-You are my lifetime confidant, Jaehyun; don't you forget! – Johnny spoke, his voice becoming low and sadder.
I nodded before getting out of Johnny's apartment, briefly closing the door behind me. I closed my eyes as I tried to control my breathing, but the emotions inside of me were something I never experienced before.
It is the first time we said goodbye to each other face to face. When I went to the army, I didn't have time to speak with him, and when he was younger, I only let him go without saying anything.
I sighed before cleaning my tears, then standing straight as I walked away from the apartment. Everything feels out of place right now; after all, I won't know about Johnny in a long time. Despite my anger because of my soulmate's actions, I can't deny that I won't miss being around him. I planned so many things after I reunited with him, but now it seems nothing will be the way I desired. Right now, the only thing I hope is that Ten can stay by his side and that I can heal fast enough to come back to him. Even though I don't want to leave Johnny, I know I have to because if I stay with this resentment inside my chest, I would gradually begin hatting on someone I once loved.
