The Emancipation of a Fuckboy [BxB] √

Chapter Sixty-Three

Dominic

I would've never imagined myself going back to Singapore in just a few months after leaving. I never treated Singapore something like home, and there are a few reasons for that. One, I stayed here for the entire time I was in college, and during those years, I never had a chance to have real bonding with my dad, not even once. Two, I never really found any long-term friends here, I have known a few, but we only became friends for one semester, and the next semester they've already found a new circle of friends. And Three, this is the place where I grieved for all of the pain caused by the problem I, myself, created. Just to be clear, I don't hate this place, but I just didn't have the best experience, and I couldn't even help but ponder about the underlying fact that I am here to grieve once again. I never really fully healed from last time, and here I am again.

When I just got off the plane three weeks ago, my dad was surprisingly there waiting for me, and he was waving this placard with my name written on it. It was like a quick flashback to when my mom and my sister came to get me at the airport, and they were doing the same thing just a few months ago. Perhaps the word to describe it was cheesy, and If I was a teenager, I'd be more than embarrassed about this silly act; instead, I almost shed a tear. It was just an almost thing, and I'm well aware that I don't want my ego to be bruised by this small drama, so I kept the feeling all to myself. I was more than ready to travel alone again, just like I did a few years ago when I first got here. I was more than prepared to travel alone now and sit in the backseat of a random taxi, lean my head against the window and listen to some sad music while crying internally.

Not in a million years that I would expect my dad to be fetching me at an airport in this lifetime. He used to fetch me at school when I was still young, which is probably part of why I almost cried. It brings so many memories of when things are so much simpler and innocent.

My dad treated me to a very expensive dinner after we arrived at the airport. It's the first time that I tasted caviar, and though it tasted so much like ocean water, the overall experience was immaculate. Somehow I was happy that I got the chance to have a long conversation with him for the first time in how many years. It doesn't matter how expensive the dinner was, but that moment helped me breathe from what I'm going through. However, I will admit the fact that I was a little disappointed that we only talked about normal stuff. He gave me a slight hint about knowing that I'm gay, but we never really got into a serious volley about it because his phone kept on ringing. I appreciated the fact that he tried to put his phone on silent mode and focus on our father-son moment, but they keep on making his phone ring, and he had to pick it up in the end. Perhaps, the reason why we only talked about shallow things was that I was still adjusting to this phase. It would've been lovely to hear him disapprove of some of my terrible decisions in life. I have grown so much and learned a lot of things without hearing my dad's opinions, suggestions, and even negative reactions. I sort of depended on my mom and my friends' advice and opinions on how to do this and that.

My dad had to move here to work when I was still in grade school, and through the years, there's a huge gap that was created between us. We're still close as a family, but there are a lot of milestones in my life that he missed. He missed the first time I won a real competition. He missed the time when my voice started cracking up like a duck due to this earthly thing called adolescence. He missed the first time I was in a play playing the role of tree number two and ghost number one. We used to have a lot of video calls during his early years here; however, that gradually changed to nothing but short phone calls and emails after he got promoted to a higher position.