The Emancipation of a Fuckboy [BxB] √

Chapter Twelve

Lance

I have already accepted the fact that my life would consist of nothing but ordinary. I guess, coming from my very own perception of life and the list of all galvanizing events that I've experienced, it's just right to say that sadly, I peaked in high school. And that is it for Lance Anderson. Both of the best and the worst years that I've experienced in my entire life just occurred way back in high school and right now I am nothing but a log floating adrift in the ocean ostensibly with no direction at all. In the last five years, I would say that college was a black gap in my life, there's nothing really that interesting or enthralling that happened to me. I basically glided in the background like a Christmas tree promptly putting all of my achievements from being crowded. I've lost interest in giving the best performance as if tomorrow's the end of the world.

Everyone had probably gone on their own way to conquer the world. Some of them are probably on their way to become a CEO, maybe some of them are already on their sixth step to becoming a Defense Attorney, and I'm sure three of them have already started their own business and yet all the while here I am stuck inside my own bedroom hugging my guitar. Other than music, there's really nothing that's giving me a reason to live. I heard Dominic flew to Singapore two weeks after graduation and that was the last time that I've ever heard of him. He might've already found someone that defines special there, someone to replace Valentine inside his heart. Back in high school, I basically had all the chances to make him mine after what happened at that unforgettable night but I chose not to grab that opportunity. You can call me a coward, a pussy, or anything you might want to call me but the reason why I let the chance fly away is that I saw the way he looked at Valentine. He was tearing up so bad but I can clearly see through him and how much he truly loved Valentine. I really wished it was me but it wasn't. It could've been me after that but what do you know, I chose not to be that person. My pride got the best of me and I ended up choosing not to be the second option. I chose not to be the rebound. I chose not to be the vulture who comes swooping in at the very end. I saw how destroyed both Valentine and Dominic were after that. They were visibly devastated even when they tried to wear their best smile in the middle of the crowd, they still appeared to be more than wrecked inside. Dominic looked scourged during his graduation speech and it was extremely painful for me to watch that. I think everyone noticed that one glimmer of pause in between sentences, that one hard swallow after every pause, that one tear that cascaded down his cheek which is clearly not a tear of joy but a tear of pure sorrow. It was excruciating that my selfishness got this far and it even went beyond when the news of Valentine trying to take his own life reached me. I didn't like the guy but I never wished something like that to happen to him. That's the moment that I've realized they truly loved each other and that I was the villain. Of course, I was the villain. I was just too caught up with wanting someone to love me back the way I love them that I did everything that I can do to stop them from being in love.

"I'm growing impatient darling. When will you bring someone home? I don't care if it's a girl or a boy as long as they love you, I'm at peace with that" My mom sat across the table looking at me as I pulled the chair so that I can seat. The wrinkles on her face seemed lighter because of the lighting that's hitting her face.

"What do you mean?" I replied as I began to munch the chicken wings that she ordered for us. I knew what she meant but I just don't want to talk about it right now.

"Your brother just got married a few months ago and your sister is already pregnant to her second child. I'm just concerned about you, Lance. I don't want to leave you alone in this cruel world" My mom went on.

She's not my real mom, blood doesn't connect us in any way but small moments like this showed how much she truly loved me more than I loved myself that she will do everything just to make me happy. I guess I'm super blessed to have her as my mom more than my real mom who abandoned me.