The Emancipation of a Fuckboy [BxB] √

Chapter Eleven

Valentine

I cannot breathe properly at the appalling sight of Dominic. It was a complete cliche that everyone around me seemed to go on a slow-motion, the sick beat that hypnotized everyone turning them into dancing monkeys was suddenly gone and the only beat that I can hear is my heart beating to the sound of a drum being beaten hard. I am nothing but a deer caught in the headlights. I was ostensibly kicked out of reality towards a deep-sea of every single emotion that wants to drown me. There was this wretched feeling of misery trying to bring intensity towards my unhappiness. There was this sad feeling of loneliness trying to permanently put my feet in chains. There was this familiar feeling of longing that tried to whisper some words to my ear. And then there was this strong feeling of anger that's finally gaining a foothold towards taking over me.

"Val! Hey, why'd you stop dancing?" The mercy of reality came to rescue me in the form of Ivana shaking my arm and successfully fishing me out of the deep water that was about to pull me deeper into the abyss. I blinked and shook my head as it appeared to me that everyone seemed to have returned to their normal state. The drunken crowd around us continued boogieing to the remix as I realize that Dominic is still focused on smooching the guy right in front of me. I took a deep gulp and quickly decided to cover my face eventually bringing me in action to instantly pull myself out of the dance floor before Dominic even gets the chance to see me. I surfed through the sea of drunk people without revealing my face until I was already in the clear, Ivana tailing me.

"Hey, are you..... Val, are you okay?" Ivana quickly caught up to me and was now staring at me in utter confusion.

I'm not quite sure how to answer that. Am I okay?

"Uhmm... I just need to pee, be right back!" I reasoned out and then left her.

I staggered straight to the comfort room as if I'm just another regular drunk person who's about to throw up. That was totally out of the blue, I thought. I turned on the faucet and stared at my reflection on the mirror for more than a minute before finally deciding to wash my face. The water felt extremely cool the moment it touched the skin on my face, however, I still feel much like I'm stuck in the middle of the Saharan desert. I raised my head and stared back again at my reflection, my eyes were starting to go somewhere. I saw how Dominic kissed that guy, it looked far different from the old Dominic. He was being aggressive almost belligerent.

"Hey man, you're wasting water"

I heard someone say something from behind but I just can't quite figure out the words that he is trying to say. It sounded gibberish.

"Hey,"

Someone tapped me on the shoulder and I swear, I almost jumped in fear.

"Sorry, what?" I was already back to my senses.

"You are wasting water," The guy said pointing at the faucet that was left on.

"Oh sorry, sorry," I said turning the faucet off immediately as he left.

I feel like I want to scream the shit out of me. My heart is pumping fast and I almost feel like I'm about to explode at any moment. I know I've told myself a lot of times that I have already put everything behind me and moved on from Dominic but is it quite possible that I haven't actually moved on from Dominic yet? Seeing him tonight seemed unlikely to happen even after learning the fact that he's already back in town. I wasn't ready to see him just yet especially at the state that I saw him. This feeling of wanting to scream and shout at the top of my lungs. A feeling of wanting to hurt myself again started to resurface as if I haven't done worse in the past. And why am I starting to get angry at him? I know I do have the right to be angry at him but I don't want to be angry at him, I just don't.

I finally get out of the comfort room and immediately looked for Ivana who I instantly found sitting at the corner of the bar talking to a guy she clearly just met a few seconds ago. I've thought of just approaching her straight as if I don't see the guy she's talking to, I mustered one step and then another step closer but then I quickly understood that this is actually the first time that I saw her flirting like this again. It's been several months since I last saw her smother her butterfly and just exude that inner coquette inside her and I almost believed that she'd already forgotten how to do that but here it is, I get to see that girlish giggle and that conscious blinking again to a subtle pucker of her lips. The body language is explicitly doing the talking that the actual talking cannot do. She is smiling teasingly for the first time in years and I definitely know she deserves a little bit of flirting once in a while. She totally needs that torrential rain to pour down to her arid desert.

I know better to not stay in this place and risk bumping into Dominic again. I'm not totally in the right state of mind to bump into him, I am a little bit drunk and god knows what I can do. I don't know when will I be ready to be present in the same room as him or if I will ever be ready to talk to him again but tonight, for sure is the game-changing realization that I'm not yet okay. I chose to leave Ivana here without approaching her. I'm just going to have to let her do her thing, I'm guessing she's planning on having a night trip to heaven which she obviously cannot do with me tailing her.

The fresh zephyr of the night slapped my face as soon as I left the club leading me to shiver in the sudden breeze that engulfed my body. I lit up a cigarette on my way to the car. What an unexpected turn of events. I hate this night. I should've sucked it up went out with my brother and Yhannie instead. Yhannie, I can still talk to her and be in a room with her. I put my cigarette off using the heel of my shoe and then threw it away before boarding my car. I was about to start the engine when another moment of surprise unlocked itself for me when I saw Dominic with the same guy walking in front of my car. I realized that they actually parked right next to my car. The engine started and the next thing I know I am following their track. My brain doesn't want to stalk them but my body wants to do the opposite. I drove following them to a motel.

I woke up the next morning to the brutal aching feeling that my neck had become stiff and my legs numb. I moved around to get a comfortable angle and relax my body ultimately realizing that I had fallen asleep in my car waiting for them. I saw the same car that I followed still parked so I know they haven't left yet. I checked my phone for the time and saw fifteen missed calls from Ivana who probably had no ride since I forgot to even leave her a text message telling her that I left. I felt really bad for her so I called her. She didn't pick up and while I was redialing her number I saw the guy that was with Dominic last night entering the car but there was no sign of Dominic around to be seen. I decided to just go home noting to myself that this isn't going somewhere and when I arrived home I was dead surprised to see Lance Anderson.