Give Me A Choice ▪︎ Chanlix✔️

Continue smiling by My Side

Thoughts= Bold Italics

"Mind-linking"= Italics

angsty :(

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

When Felix awoke, he wasn't aware of his surroundings, only paying heed to the formidable, white, searing pain that engulfed him whole. He remembers crying out for it to stop. Anything to make it all stop- the agony, the shame, the guilt, the disgust- he just wanted it all to stop once and for all. 

Felix blacked out with tears streaming down his face.

The next time Felix woke up, he felt nothing but a weight against his palm. He recognised the fur pelts against his skin, recognised the wooden ceiling, he recognised the warm scent of home.

This time Felix blacked out numb and quelled.

Again, Felix woke and this time less weary, more aware of his environment. He noticed the changed sheets, the pelts were different and so was the large shirt he was dressed in.

He didn't notice the two worried pair of eyes glued to him.

So he was startled when he tried to sit up, only to have a pair of hands pushing him back down again.

That was a mistake.

"Get off!"

"Don't t-touch me!"

"Please I can't an-anymore- please please no more!"

Only when the hands retreated, did Felix's mind clear up and he noticed that the hands were mellow, a softness that only a long-haired beta carried- Hyunjin.

When Felix made eye contact with the other's silver gaze, did he notice the tears present, reflecting the beta's pity and dejection.

Standing next to him was an even more stunned and distressed Jisung, unsure of what to do to help.

There was nothing left to help. 

Nothing left of me to save.

Ashamed of his own actions and enveloped in culpability and self pity, Felix resorted to shunning the two.

"Get out." 

"Lixie, it's okay it doesn't-"

Wiping away his tears, Felix asserted his voice- the first time he ever raised his voice at them.

"Please! Just- Just go."

His voice softened at the end, already exhausted from everything that happened in the last five minutes.

He looked away from the two and waited for the sound of the door swinging shut before letting his sobs and wails tire him out into a soundless sleep.

.....................................

It had been exactly four days.

Four days of Chan just sitting outside of Felix's room, far enough so that the other wouldn't pick up his scent, but close enough for Chris to hear his soulmate's every cry, every scream, every whisper for help.

He'd given up on wiping away his tears, letting them fall into his lap and watched them roll down his leather trousers. 

He didn't deserve to cry. He wasn't the one in pain

but Gods why did his heart hurt so much?

It was on day 5 when Seungmin decided enough was enough.