Gone Girl 2

Chapter 11

I hurriedly search for my keys through my purse. I accidentally drop them and I quickly grab them back before the elevator comes.

Derek is at his old apartment... I remember visiting that street almost every day when he got arrested.

I always expected to see something different, anything. But I never did.

Luckily it's not that far from here at all.

Thirty minutes later I reach the familiar address and I force myself to get out of the car. My hands are shaking as I slam the car door.

I take a shallow breath and every little step is painful. Mentally and physically.

Am I ready to see him? To prove to myself it wasn't all in my head? To see his disappointment one more time?

I look around and I notice there is nobody here, it's too early.

Is he home now?

I don't have any keys, and I don't want to call before even reaching his door.

I can wait for someone to come.

I walk back to the sidewalk.

One hour later an elder couple walks to the condo.

I walk right behind them and I pick up the phone.

"Yeah, I'm coming now," I pretend to be talking on the phone so they keep the door open for me as they enter.

"Thank you."

I take a breath of relief as they take the stairs and I check the time on my phone. 10 am.

I call the elevator which comes very fast and I can't help but start thinking about the countless times I went to his home. Every single small kiss. Every time we made love. When he told me he loves me and I didn't say it back.

My throat feels dry at the memories and I swallow the guilt. I can think about this later.

I press the fifth button and I wait nervously as the elevator beeps.

I'm here.

My heart starts beating fast and I take a few deep breaths before walking to his door.

When I am finally in front of his door, I look around, forcing myself to knock before I make it too hard for myself.

I knock softly against the door. Hoping he answers it without looking through the peephole.

A couple of seconds later, it opens.

Derek is standing in front of me. My knees go weak and I can tell by his shocked expression that he isn't feeling any better.

Tears threatening to escape from my eyes, it's inevitable.

He is wearing a plain oversized light blue shirt and black pants.

We look at each other for a few seconds and I have no idea what to say. Neither he does.

I do the first thing that crosses my mind.