Chapter 34

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To my surprise, Derek comes back inside to talk to Dominic. But he doesn't look at me once.

Is it wrong that I just want to make him feel as bad as I feel? For him this looks so easy.

For me it just feels like breaking up once again. Not that we were even actually together this time.

I look at the open cupboards filled with alcohol and my first impulse is to drink and forget.

If I drink and kiss anyone here, that might make him angry.

But I'm not that pathetic... and why do I still assume he would care? Why would he care? Derek made it very clear that I'm as dear to him as any other acquaintance.

Why does love feels this way, how did I even allow myself to get to this point...

The drunk boy that tried to talk to me thirty minutes ago is refilling his cup.

I walk towards him with no idea what I'm about to say but I just want to strike up a conversation since Nicole isn't here and Irène is god knows where.

Before he is even done with his cup he throws it in the sink and brings the bottle to his mouth.

"Fuck it," he murmurs.

He drinks from the whiskey bottle as I stand behind him waiting for this to end.

When he tilts his head back, a few ginger curls fall on his shoulder. His hair is quite long.

He turns around when he is done and puts the bottle on the cabinet. He finally sees me staring at him.

"Did you change your mind?" His yellow-green eyes glow.

"Just wondering how you can drink so much."

As if I don't drink exactly like this too.

"I drink everyday."

Perfect, an alcoholic just like me.

"What's your name?" he asks taking me by surprise. It feels like I haven't been getting to know people in ages. I'm always so distant and closed off.

"Veronica, what's yours?"

"Nice name, Veronica, see you later," he says as he walks past me without bothering to say his name.

This went well.

I stare at the vodka bottle until I force myself to be sober. At least tonight.

When I turn around, I see him talking to Dominic and Derek.

What the fuck?

My plan to make him jealous failed. How does he even know them? It didn't seem like Derek knew him before.

Derek looks at me for a second but I quickly look around, ignoring his gaze.

The only way I can stay away from him is if I stay away from Dominic and all these parties. This is harder than I thought it would be.

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