Worlds Apart

Alone once again

Thursday and Friday

I was hurt, but I was happy. I felt like shit knowing that my boyfriend of years had easily fucked another girl, but I was happy because Noah was by my side the whole time.

I was yes to always text Noah and do go out with him. Just to hear him made me happy. That did it really scare me but was I good enough?

I had already left the house early still to avoid my sisters. We had talked it out and they were still tempted and I was to.

So we were good but we didn't talk. I was honestly fine with that m. I would prefer not to talk to them, then to be so close that all they do is attack me for hanging out with a regular guy. I mean how could they be mad he cheated on me.

The next day I woke up with a Lot of excitement. I had a tutoring session and I would actually tutor him this time.

I did my routine but this time I got dressed In a more fancier and more Noah's type. I had no clue why I was impressing him besides the fact I was falling head first for him.

I had a white shirt on with ruffled sleeves and a ruffle like peach and white skirt. It was one of my favorite outfits and I only wore it on special occasions.

I got in my car after eating a smoothie bowl. My mom could be mad or disappointed In me but she had to feed me.

I drove to the school and made it right on time for the First warning bell I went to my locker and got my stuff. As I was closing it noah and Blake came to there's Noah have me a small smile and I got confused.

"Today's the first actual day of tutoring, where I'm actually going to tutor you" I said in a silly sarcastic voice. Blake left saying "bye bro see you later."

Noah on the other hand said "bye Blake" and Looked at me and said "yeah I know" in a sad voice. I was shocked by his voice he sounded like when I met him for the first time. Hurt and hated.

"What's wrong" I said stepping closer to him. I guess I always had bad timing because chase, char, addi, Bryce, and surprisingly nick and his New Girl. Which I kinda found funny I gave them a smirk. Last night I had named that group The Last Bitches On Earth Also known as TLBOE

As they came closer to there lockers I step more visibly close to Noah. When I got close enough that we could kiss he said with nothing but a sad and mad voice  "Nothings wrong with me. Im fine"

I knew he wasn't okay but before I could dig deeper he walked away leaving me their alone while TLBOE snickered and giggles at me.

-
The day went on fine and smooth with no problems, or complaints. I walked into the library and there was Noah sitting down on his phone with the same expression but now it wasn't only in his body language and face his eyes had pain

I walked over and trying to speak happily to cheer up the un-titled mood. "Hey Noah how was your day"

He looked up at me and put his phone down but he didn't meet my gaze instead he looked at his feet.

-"it was fine I guess"

"Why I guess you seemed off earlier".  He looked at me but still didn't meet my eyes he then from my forehead went all the way down to my lips and then back at his feet.

I sat down and scooted by chair a little bit closer to him just in case it got awkward I would still be close.

"No I'm fine" is all he said and I didn't want to push it knowing that he had a past. "Okay let's get started"

I gave him a book on the in-depth Revolutionary War. That was one of the parts he didn't understand. After he read the first 5 chapters I explained it and we wrote a Summary of it and by that time it was end of class.

He stood up and grabbed his back pack and looked me in the eyes for the first time and said "see you around" was tho saying that he didn't want to hang out with me.

I got up with my stuff really fast and grabbed his hand pulling him to face me "what do you mean see me around" he looked at me as tears swelled his eyes.

"Exactly what it sounds like" he said hurt like he just needed a hug. "Noah what's going on" he looked away and then back at me. "Nothing dixie I can't put my promblem a on me. I'm a mess and you aren't I c-cant do that to y-you" he started to break down.

I pulled his hand to me and gave him a hug that he needed and knew he needed. He didn't accept it though but pulled away and said again "I can't do that to you" and he left tear rolling down his face. I wanted to run after him but I had to think.

I went home and went straight to my room I texted Noah Please talk to me it was left on read immediately. I took a shower and put a big t-shirt on and went straight to bed and I cried.

Did I do something wrong?
Why can't he let me in?
What it he hiding ?
Do I want to know?

And so much more

-
I woke up and put a sweatshirt and leggings I didn't feel anything except determination to figure out what the hell was going on with Noah. I put mascara on and got in my car. Not stoping for anything

I got to school and parked I got out and looked for his car and I founded it. I ran inside and to my locker he was at his. He saw me and began to walk away.

I grabbed his hand and said a tiny bit madly. "Noah" he looked at me and I saw his eyes. The eyes that I never wished to see again. His eyes were red like he had cried all night. His bags were larger than I have ever seen like he hadn't had any sleep. His hair was a mess, and he was wearing the same clothes as yesterday. 

This wasn't the Noah I know, this wasn't my Noah. This was hurt Noah the Noah that I don't like to see.

He looked down knowing I was shocked by his face: I touched his cheeks making my way up to his eyes and under eyes rubbing them softly. "Noah please tell me what's going on. What happened? Is it me?" He cut me off before I could ask another question.

"See this is what happens when people become attached to me. They care about me and I break them and Dixie I can't do that to you, not you" he grabbed my hands off of his face and kissed them and said "goodbye dixie please don't care, be with you friends" he began to cry again. I teared up and then he was gone just like that.

The last Bitches on earth walked behind me and I guess they heard everything because Addi came behind me and hugged me. I hugged her back and then she said "that's the Noah I was worried about you meeting" that boiled my blood but I didn't show anyone because I needed someone. She appoligize and I semi forgave her but  she thought that we were all good.

She brought me back to the group and nick apologized and Introduced me to gabby his side hoe. I showed her a bit of sass because that was fun for me. Char apologized and we were all good I guess.

Even though my kind want on them it was ok Noah and I was still determined to find out because I like my Noah and I would get him back.