Comfort Coward(Moonsun)

Ep_31

Third person's pov

Time flies fast. It has been three years that Moonbyul ignore the blank space in her heart.

But she is doing well alone because she promised Yongsun that both of them will live their life happily.

Of course, how can they be happy when the person who brings happiness to your day is not with you anymore.

So what can they do? Nothing else beside pretending that they are fine without each other.

For Moonbyul, she always watch Yongsun on screen. At least, she feels relief for a while when she see the older's smile.

She know the older is strong. That is also why she choose this path.

" Moon...I bought some drinks and snacks "

Sakura said as soon as she enter the living room holding some packs.

Moonbyul take the younger to the dinner table which she prepared and set up everything.Moonbyul invited Sakura to have dinner at her house.

They are close enough to visit each other's house as it has been three years they have known each other.

The younger had a crush on Moonbyul since their first meeting. Her feelings become stronger and more obvious day by day.

Moonbyul is not that numb not to see it. But she is not sure. She knows Sakura is a good person and attractive.

But some things are holding her back. She doesn't know if she can love again and give everything of her to Sakura.

Even that she honestly does not want the younger leaves her side. She needs her. But not in the way she needs Yongsun.

They sit side by side at balcony after enjoying the dinner Moonbyul cooked.

The older keep swirling the wine glass in her hand.

She is obviously spacing out, letting her soul flies with the breeze.

Sakura keep gazing at the older. A cold breeze took back Moonbyul's soul.

She look at the younger which makes the latter smile and look down.

"You are thinking about her again right?"

The older nodded slightly and put down the glass on the floor.

" But I won't tell you about her tonight. I shouldn't bring her up too often in front of you. "

Byul often tell about Yongsun to Sakura. She tell about her wonderful and awful memories.

Basically almost everything.

Sakura is a good listener too. She never interrupt and pay full of attention when the older is talking.

" No..no..Moon..It's ok. I love and enjoy to listen them. Also I think she make us a little closer you know...You only talk a lot when it is about her "

Moonbyul stare at the younger's beautiful eyes for a while. The atmosphere between them is very calm.

She feel like confessing her feelings.

"I think I like Kkura"

She then look straight at the road and trees thru the glass. She younger smile and take a sip of wine before she talks.

"You know I like you too but.....you don't like me the way I like you. And it hurts a lot since I already know it. But you know I am willing to accept that pain. I know you are not ready to open up your heart now. I have no idea how long will you take but I can wait for you. I promise I will wait for you."

The older pick up her glass again and take another sip. She then turn her face toward Sakura.

" You don't need to wait for me. And don't promise me these kinda things. We are not even dating after all. You will feel burden for them."

Sakura know the older is telling for her good and she appreciate for it too.

But those words hurt so much in the deep down of her heart.

She know Moonbyul does not believe in her yet. She knows Moonbyul does not believe her promises.

But still she want to try her best.

She does not want to let her go easily. She knows the older deserve it.

Moonbyul's pov

I was checking the stock market and reading some news but an article made me shocked without warning.

"BM proposed marriage to Solar on an live show "

I am praying it would be a fake news or an rumor before I click the video.

In the video, BM suddenly came out among staffs and kneel down in front of Yongsun.

She is surprised too. I know she did not expect it.

"Today is our 4th anniversary. I have met so many girls in my life but no one is like you. You are very special for me. So I decided to spend rest of my life with you. Kim Yongsun...Yong will you marry me?"

I repeat 'No' again and again in my mind. I want to hear it most from her right now.

I know this is so wrong but I can't help.

"Matthew...I..uh.."

"Will you marry me Yong?"

He asked again and Yongsun glance at the camera. And it is like she just glanced at me.

"...yeah.."

I stop the video and place my face between my palms.

" No...I won't cry..I won't cry...shit!! Fuck! Fuck! Why can't I control myself?!! "

I wipe my tears but only more tears roll down. My head is hot right now. I can't think of anything properly.

Is she marrying Matthew? Are they gonna marry?

I have thought about this and prepared for this since before but I can't endure it when it becomes real.

I can't. I don't want her to be someone's. I want her. I need her. What the hell did I do?! Why did I leave her?

What the fuck was I thinking back then?!!!

My hands become cold. I am scared now. I sit at the corner of my bedroom against the wall.

I lost her. I lost everything. I lost Yong. What the hell did I do? I lost her now.

"Moon? Are you ok?"

I pull and hug her tight when she comes close to me. I am so scared. I feel like I have nothing on my side now.

" It's okay. Everything's gonna be alright. I am here. I will always be here for you. I promise. "

I pull up myself and stare at her eye. Her eyes are telling me to rely on her. They are telling me to trust her.

It reminds me of her eyes.

I cup her jawline with my one hand and pull her slowly. I need her. But I am not sure if I want her. I don't know anymore.

I connect our lips. Then we make the thing called kiss.

I am letting my guard down at the same time. I need her by my side.