Stupid To Fall For You ~ Harry Styles ~

044

H A R R Y

She fell asleep in my arms. 

After a while, she lent her head on my shoulder and fell asleep in my arms as I sat on the bathroom floor. 

I couldn't though. 

My heart was still racing while hers seemed perfectly fine. 

I slowly stood up, keeping a soft yet firm grip on her body as I started to make my way over to the bed. I placed her in between the sheets, carefully pulling a pair of my boxers over her lower private area and putting one of my t-shirts that she easily slides into to cover her upper body. I then softly brought the covers up to her, just to keep her warm while she slept. 

I'm really happy that she's finally able to sleep. I knew she thinks I didn't notice, but I know she doesn't sleep a lot. 

I thought that she would tell me on her own eventually so I just let it be but now I know that's not the case. 

After a minute of observing her to make sure she really was asleep, I throw on a jumper and made sure to grab a room key.

I quickly made my way out of the hotel room but made sure to shut the door quietly so I wouldn't wake Vada up. 

I rushed myself down the hall until I got to room number 644. I started knocking repeatedly on the door, not caring if I'm waking up Niall or not. 

I know Niall is really childish and sometimes immature but he's really good at giving advice and being there when you need someone to talk to which is exactly what I need right now. 

Finally, Niall opened the door with a smile on his lips but it quickly dropped once he saw my face.

"You alright lad?" He asks, concern laces in his voice. 

"Can I please come in?" I ask, running a hand through my hair. He quickly nods as opens the door enough for me to walk through. 

His hotel room is pretty clean, the occasional clothes around the room but that's neat for Niall. 

"What happened?" Niall hesitantly asks as he starts to put things in his suitcase. 

"When I got back from the show tonight, I walked in on her in the bathtub." I tell him. Niall quickly stops what he's doing and raises his eyebrows at me. I quickly shut my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose, just realizing how that sounded. 

"I- not like that... it looked like she was trying to drown herself but she was... calm?" I speak out. He quickly stops what he's doing and leans against the wooden chest of drawers. 

"Is she alright?" He asks, once again concerned. 

Niall and Vada have a friendship, I know that. Just like each of the boys have a friendship with her. 

"I think? S-She tells me she is, but I don't think she is." I tell him, running a hand through my hair again. I start to pace around the room, my eyes moving from one place to another every few seconds. 

"Harry, mate, I'm going to need you to start from the begging cause I'm really confused right now." He tells me, sighing. I nod and gulp before speaking. 

"We got into an argument, if you could even call it that. I found some stuff she wrote and she told me things. It's all fucking confusing. I didn't see her at all today but when I got back she was in the same spot I felt her in. She said she wasn't feeling well and said she couldn't come to the show. After the show tonight was when I found her in the tub." I explain, talking fast.

He nods, obviously still confused. "And what did she write about?" He hesitantly asks as if he knows he's walking in this ice. 

"She wrote about some stuff I didn't know about from her childhood which I thought I should've known about because they really fucking hurt her a lot. Look, I can't really go into detail about it. It's her story, not mine." I tell him. 

Even though Niall's my best friend, I couldn't tell him what I now know about Vada without her permission and she didn't give me permission. 

"Alright, so you found her in the tub looking like she was drowning and what did you do?" He asks, eyebrows slightly furrowed. 

"I pulled her out of the water but her emotions didn't change. It didn't even look like she had any fucking emotions. She just looked empty which she told me was how she was feeling before. I thought that went away! I don't know? She fell asleep and now I'm here. I just don't know what to do, Ni." I truthfully tell him. 

I really don't know what to do. 

"Harry, what has happened?" He softly asks. 

"I-I don't know! It's all so confusing! I thought she was ok, she looked ok until she didn't but I waited for her to tell me something instead of making sure she ok and then I found things out about why she was so closed off and shit! I don't know if that's what made her feel like this or the tour. I don't know if  fucking James said something to her. I don't know if it's about the video of her. I don't know if it's about being locked up in the hotel! I don't fucking know! She doesn't tell me these things cause she doesn't want to hurt me but I'm so scared right now!" I shout, rambling through my frustration.

"Calm down Harry." Niall softly tells me as I pace around the small space of the hotel room. "Things we're better for her before tour and everything?" I look up at him and nod. 

"And ever since tour everything has been bad and ended up hurting you both?" He asks and I nod once again. 

"Then maybe the tour is the problem." He tells me. I look at the ground and run a hand through my hair again. 

He's right about the tour. 

"Yeah, I know." I mumble. 

"Then Harry, I think we both know what you need to do." He softly tells me. I pinch my eyes shut and start to pace again. 

I know he's right, I know he is but I can't do it. I don't want to do it. 

"But I love her, Ni. I love her a lot." I tell him, the words not coming out as a shock anymore since this isn't the first time I've said that around him. 

"I know, but you know that saying? 'If you love them, let them go'?" I nod, glancing up at him as he spoke. "Harry, I think you need to let her go before the pain is too much to lose to the love." 

And once again, he's fucking right. 

I know I should let her go. But I can't, not until she decides to leave. 

"Thanks for the talk Ni, I'll see you around." I say, exiting his hotel room before he could say anything. 

It's too much to hand all at once. 

I quietly walk into the hotel room to see Vada still sleeping on the bed just as I left her. 

I throw off my jumper again and softly climb beside her making sure not to wake her up as I cuddled into her. 

"I'm not letting you go yet, I can't." I whisper to her, wrapping my arm around her waist softly.

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