No one really knew you, understood you... until him.
Could he really love you? With all the blood on your hands? Even if he did ... did you really deserve love? Or were you always destined to hurt him?
But he wasn't innocent either. He was the Winte...
READER WARNING: REFERENCES TO SUICIDE. PLEASE DON'T READ IF THIS WILL TRIGGER YOU IN ANY WAY!
I had stayed in the med bay for a further 3 days after waking up. My body was weak and Bruce wanted to ensure I would be able to cope before letting me out. He and Tony had removed the arc reactor from my leg yesterday seeing as all the Thalium had left my system now. I was thankful not to have a metal disk in my leg but I wasn't all that fond of the 5 inch scar now running down my calf. It was a constant reminder of how close I'd really gotten to death.
Steve and Bucky had promised, after lots of begging on my part, not to tell the others about my 'Rose' episode. I didn't want to seen as fragile which they understood but it didn't stop them treating me like a china doll. Bucky said he wasn't worried but he watched my every move so I wasn't convinced.
Bruce had given me the all clear but I was under strict instructions to take it easy, which the whole team was briefed on so naturally... I was being suffocated. All I wanted was some normality back but everyone insisted on doing everything for me. I know they had good intentions but if one more person brought me soup I was going to give Tony's walls a new paint job with it.
Nat came and flopped down next to me on the sofa after her workout. I missed training badly and I had gotten so thin it was scary. Bruce said muscle wasteage was expected and that I'd regain it quickly as I moved more. Hard to do when I couldn't take 2 steps without someone offering me their arm for support. I'd stumbled when I first left the med bay and rolled my ankle. Bucky had caught me of course before I could fully faceplant but now everyone was on high alert for me tripping up.
"You looked peeved y/n" Nat said eyeing me curiously.
"Peeved, irritated, frustrated, in the mood to lob my book at the next person to suggest I use a walking stick. Any of those would suffice in describing my mood" I huffed and Nat chuckled.
"I'll tell Tony to stop designing you a voice controlled zimmer frame then" She had a sly smirk that told me she was pulling my leg so I responded in a very polite, mature, adult manner to show my disapproval of her joke. By that I mean I hit her in the face with a pillow. We both laughed as she pulled the pillow from her face.
A grin spread across her face and I could tell an idea was forming. Nat stood and put her hand out for me, "I'm taking you out for dinner" she announced.
I grabbed her hand, smiling and she pulled me up, "I would love nothing more". Then I couldn't help but feel bombarded with how everyone else would react to me going out and my smile drooped into a frown.
Nat spotted my mood change and squeezed my hand, "Hey, none of that. *she wiggled her finger in front of my face in a circle* We are going out, just us, and we're going to start living the life you've got back. Otherwise what was the point in bringing you back if you were just going to be chained to the couch"
"Thank you" I smiled at her and we both went to our rooms to get dressed. I examined my body in the full length mirror inside of my wardrobe door. Old and new scars caught my attention, especially the one on my calf. My collarbones and hips jutted out more that normal and it made me uncomfortable to look at. I decided on jeans with a white top and long jumper since I felt cold all the time lately and went downstairs to meet Nat.
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