A Winter Soldier and A Lost Cause

Chapter 36 - Surprises

A/n- Decided to postpone the big emotional damage until next chapter and give some romance here instead :) it's defoooo coming though ;)

WILL TELL YOU WHEN TO START MUSIC^

READER WARNING - SMUT ;)

Y/N POV
"If I watch another thing on a screen, my eyes will go square." I complained.

"That's a myth y/n" Wanda chuckled as she turned the TV off with the remote.

"Trust me, if I watch anymore chick-flicks I could make it fact." I giggled.

Nat yawned, "What time is it?"

I looked at my phone, "Half 11." I said and I followed it with a yawn.

"God I feel old. I should not be yawning at half 11." Nat grumbled.

"Speak for yourself" I huffed, "My excuse is that my physiotherapy tires me out."

Bruce had referred me to a friend of his at Columbia Medical Centre and they had been kind enough to give me physio sessions for my arm everyday for the last two weeks. The healing serum had healed most of the damage and Dr.Loughton had helped me regain full movement. My arm was still stiff in the mornings and I took pain relief on the occasions when it was uncomfortable but I could use it pretty normally now. I hadn't been training though and it wasn't only because I didn't officially have the medical all clear. I didn't want to practice fighting techniques or using my powers lately knowing the damage they'd done but I kept it mostly hidden from the team.

They were all under the impression that I had moved on from my time as Violet and the heinous acts I had committed as her but my happy facade was only to stop them coddling or lecturing me. Bucky noticed that my emotions varied drastically, never staying the same for too long but I shut him down whenever he raised it with me. I didn't like hiding things from him but I could see that he was struggling to cope with knowing what he'd done under the Tesserect's influence and he didn't need me piling my emotional baggage and mental turmoil on top of it. A lot of the time we avoided the topic altogether which definitely wasn't healthy and meant we spent less time together than we'd both like to. That was maybe the worst part: not being able to talk about how much I was struggling with him because I felt responsible for his pain and couldn't bare to hear about how badly it was affecting him.

"Y/n?" Wanda said.

"Hm?" I hummed coming out of my daydream.

"We're going to go up to bed. You coming?" Wanda asked.

"Oh yeah, sure." I said as I threw a blanket off of me and stood up from the sofa.

We'd been having a lot of girly days and nights lately. Partly because we'd missed each other but also partly because the team was worried about me being on my own despite the fact that a lot of the time, that was exactly what I wanted.

I said goodnight to the girls and made my way up to my floor. Even in this new compound Tony gave Bucky and I our own corridor so I just figured he didn't want to hear us doing 'it', not that we had lately. Bucky had said earlier that he was going for a shower but he should've been done by now. Despite the problems and trauma we were both dealing with, I still felt better being near him like he was my safety net. So long as I was near him, I wouldn't fall completely to pieces. I knocked on his door and after a few seconds he opened it but only enough for me to see part of him. He was in grey joggers and hadn't yet put on a shirt so my eyes had a field day drinking in the sight of him. Warmth instantly started to pool between my legs at the view and the smell of his forest body wash and it made me realise just how long it's been since we were intimate together... and god did I miss it.