A Winter Soldier and A Lost Cause

Chapter 21 - Ambush

We never made it to Wakanda.

*10hrs ago*

We'd been in the air for almost 3 hours and I hadn't said a word. I was still shaken from seeing Lucas earlier and I thought that if I didn't distract myself by talking then maybe I could keep the illusions at bay. Bucky had sat by me for most of it, trying and failing to have a conversation with me. Now he was with Steve talking in hushed tones so I couldn't hear but every now and then they glanced over at me making me certain I was the hot topic of the hour.

I could feel myself growing irritable with them as it they made it blindingly obvious they didn't want me to know what they were discussing. The team had all been acting like this the last few days. They stopped conversations when I walked into a room or all magically had things to do so they weren't near me. I couldn't tell if they were scared of me, fed up or just didn't know what to do but the "avoid me" path they'd all taken was definitely a bad choice. I felt more isolated than ever despite Bucky's 24/7 support. It almost felt like he stuck by me out of duty rather than having the desire to and I despised feeling like a problem he desperately wanted to fix.

After Steve's 4th side eye towards me, I snapped.

"Can I help you Steven?" I spat in an annoyed tone that matched the glare I was giving him.

Steve and Bucky's heads both snapped to me, clearly taken aback by my tone and use of Steve's full name.

"I uh, No I- um-" Steve stuttered out failing miserably to cover for himself.

I stood up and crossed my arms as I walked a few steps closer, "Um uh um" I mimicked. "What? Can't speak now? You clearly had plenty to say just now about me so don't play the fumbling idiot. We both know you're smarter than that."

"Woah easy girl" Sam put a hand out to rest on my soldier but before he could reach I grabbed his forearm twisting it behind him and pushing him up against the side of the jet with my knee digging into his right thigh.

"Jesus y/n, calm down" Bucky said sternly as he made his way over to me.

"What the hell y/n?!" Sam said as he struggled against my grip. Everyone on the jet had turned their attention to me by now.

Bucky moved closer to me and rested a hand on my upper arm, gently pulling me away from Sam. I smacked his hand away and drew back from Sam, combing my hands through my hair until their rested on my neck.

"Y/n what's going on?" Nat asked me, not moving closer. She was about the only one with some sense right now.

I dropped my hands down to my hips and sighed heavily. Bucky eyed me with an emotion that wasn't anger or concern but somewhere in between. He seemed almost curious about why I'd flipped out.

I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, "I am so sick of being the headcase that everyone talks about, just quiet enough so they don't set me off." I opened my eyes and tipped my head back down to its normal level. Everyone looked at me with sympathy and I screamed in frustration, clenching my fists.

"Is this an episode?" Steve whispered to Bucky and Bucky shot him a look that told him that question was a mistake.

I let out a breathy chuckle that sounded sadistic and turned to Steve, bending my knees so my body dipped as I turned, "Jesus Christ Steve!" I started clapping, "Bravo for finding the most idiotic thing to say and blurting it out. I guess you are stupid after all"

"Y/n stop" Bucky said sternly, staring at me.

"Why? So you can go back to discussing my next breakdown? Ooo maybe even some new methods on how to protect me from myself? Well let me throw some ideas in the ring, ropes are always a sure thing but *I started grinning mischeviously as I stared Bucky down* handcuffs are my favourite"