Begin (JJK) BTS 2026 series Book 3 (COMPLETED)

Lost In Thought

Binna lies across her bed, alone in her studio apartment. After the HYBE car dropped her off, she had smiled awkwardly back in a 'thank you' to Jungkook and shut the door, still wondering what he was thinking, wondering what he really thought of her. It seemed strange to be asked to work on the video by someone who has never really seen her work, not as a camera operator, and someone she has barely spoken to, and the few encounters they have had have not exactly been overly friendly, but that's probably her fault, she reasons. It wouldn't be unlike her to take out her own frustrations on someone who seemed to lead such a charmed life. 

She turns over, staring at the clock glowing from her bedside table. It's still relatively early. She should have maybe gone to the company to watch his footage. She wonders if it was rude to reject the offer. He didn't have to ask her. He probably had a long day, and he had just performed live in front of 33 million people, he pitched a music video to the head of the company and had a meeting about future plans of his group. He probably would have preferred to just go home and rest, or, who knows, go clubbing or something, she thinks. What do ultra famous people do for fun? Do they go out to dinner with friends the way she used to? Do they go dancing? Probably not, since they'd have to have too many security guards around and that wouldn't be much fun.  His life must be full of prearranged adventure, she thinks. Just like a RunBTS episode; someone comes up with an idea, pitches it to him, to them, and then arranges everything so they can have this experience free of outsiders, free of the disturbance real people might cause. The 'To Do' episodes run in a similar way, so she understands the concept. Choi Soobin once told her that he would never get to go to a waterpark now if it wasn't for a 'To Do' episode, set up by the company, and the park emptied of all visitors except their inner circle. It seems to her like sort of 'half living', not having freedom to go where you want and do what you want, but, then, they are rewarded handsomely for their sacrifice.

Something about Jungkook's offer didn't quite feel right though. To her, it felt almost as though he just felt awkward because he got the job she wanted. Maybe he's only asked her to work on the music video to appease his own guilt. She turns back over in her bed in a huff. How can she ever get a a chance to work on such a huge project if Bang PD will just overlook all his talented Directors; Directors he hand chose and interviewed, but then he hands the job to a member of the group because of one rough cut of a video. It was pretty good, she has to admit, but, plenty of Directors, more seasoned, more experienced, could do that too. It doesn't seem fair. She frowns as she thinks about how often in her life someone else got the job because of who they were or who they knew.

It happens so frequently in the film industry because everyone tends to work with the same people over and over again, almost like a little family; the set becomes your family for 2 weeks, or 2 months, longer if it's a documentary. You get attached to these people, and they know you well enough that when one of them gets the next opportunity, they call in their family to work with them. The only way to break in to this inner circle of the production family is to be invited by someone on the inside. She frowns again, thinking there is a chance that Jungkook could be her insider. Maybe, working for Jungkook, getting his approval, could be the key to getting into this HYBE inner circle and getting more opportunities. Maybe if Bang PD likes what he sees, she can be in position to get chosen for the next opportunity. She smirks a little, thinking that she would still like to know what his approach is, what his plan is, before she commits, the last thing she wants to do is give over all her great ideas and hard work just so he can take all the credit for it. Not again. Never again. She rolls back over onto her side thinking of how many companies she's worked for with people with very little talent for filmmaking, but somehow a talent for assuming the credit.

As a woman in this business dominated by men, she has unfortunately had to learn to keep her mouth shut about people stealing credit for her work or her ideas, because no one cared about the truth, and if she didn't like it, and said something, she ended up being forced out of the company. It's been this way since she left film school a dozen years ago. She came out of her program at the top of her class, and was instantly hired to work at a big production house, in a very junior position. She did all the running, for everyone, getting coffee, walking dogs, picking out birthday gifts for the boss's kids, it all seemed ridiculous but she did it, just to rise up and it took so long to rise up. By the time she was almost where she wanted to be, she had to start all over again at a new company.