Begin (JJK) BTS 2026 series Book 3 (COMPLETED)

Change

Jungkook lies in bed in the early morning hours, staring at the familiar discolored paint patch on the ceiling, wondering if he should call someone to paint over it, to cover it, to finally fix it, but then, what would he stare at when he's deep in thought?

He's wondered what he can do to move things along on the music video and get it done quickly. When he returned from HYBE, late enough to be sure she wouldn't still be at his house, he found a note in the edit room saying she was going to the office the next morning to hire production design crew from the approved list, and that she had all the notes she needed and would not need to return to review more footage. He was relieved as he read the note because he knew it meant there is no reason for her to return to his house, and no reason for him to repeat the episode of attempting to kiss her in the middle of the night as she stood, half naked, in his edit suite.

He rolls over onto his side as he thinks, unable to settle his mind enough to fall asleep. Mrs. Park had made him a late dinner and told him that she had given Binna lunch, but that she refused to stay for dinner despite her protests, and seemed eager to leave as it got later in the day. Maybe she thought he was coming home and she didn't want to be there when he arrived. He frowns a little at the thought of embarrassing her by trying to kiss her. But, it really felt like she wanted to kiss him, and they had such a great talk at dinner. They seemed to connect, and that couldn't have just been the wine. She's very smart and well-traveled and she seemed so self assured. Then he had to ruin it by letting his base instincts take over his better judgement. Isn't that always what had gone wrong with every relationship? He found complacency instead of comfort and he was restless and anxious to get away, so he usually went after the first shiny thing heading in the opposite direction, following his base instincts. He would do the same to her, and, it wouldn't be right.

He heard that Namjoon and J-Hope are going to be in the studio in the morning, and he wants to work with them, maybe meet this new producer, but he definitely does not want to run in to Binna. Now that he knows she's going to be there, he will have to find somewhere else to be all day long. He won't even go work out. If she's hiring staff, she could be anywhere in the building, at any time. He should find something else to do, someone else to work with and maybe bounce ideas off.

He frowns thinking about reaching out to Taehyung. No one has heard from him in a few days and it's not uncommon for him to disappear, when things go well, or when things go wrong, but he does think something has gone wrong. Maybe his advice wasn't helpful after all. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. He's not even sure if he will be at the Golden Disc Awards ceremony at the weekend. They had all intended to go together, apart from Jin who asked to stay with Jangmi. What will it be like going to this award ceremony not being nominated for anything, not even being presenters, and now, not even all being together. So much has changed in the last few years. When they started, in fact, for most of their career, there wasn't a chance they wouldn't all be together for an appearance, an awards show, or promotion. Only a physical injury had kept them apart before. Now it seems that all it takes is a broken heart.

He sits up in his bed and reaches over for the notebook that he keeps on the side table. He flips through the pages, full of notes he wrote for lyrics, ideas or concepts for songs, images for videos, or just general nonsense that won't leave his head. Yoongi gave him the idea to keep a notebook. It isn't a diary or a journal exactly, but sometimes he uses it that way to get out ideas in his head. He thinks he may be able to take these kernels of ideas and create a song, and what they need for the Comeback, is good songs, real, authentic songs, about how they feel, and what they're experiencing, things that will resonate with others, will connect with ARMY, and link them all together again.

He fumbles to find a pen and he plumps the pillow up behind his back against his tall headboard. Maybe what he really needs, is a few days off, a few days to go no where, see no one, be by himself, and write. He isn't sure if there was ever a time in his life that he really wanted to be alone, to be all alone with his thoughts. It's different being in the edit suite, they're all right there with him, smiling at him from the monitor, filling the room with their laughter and their words. He switches on the lamp on the table next to him, finding the pen in the slash of light that falls across the bed. He stares down at the empty page on his lap.

Change. That's what he's focused on. Changes in his routine, in his schedule. Changes in his interests, in his role. He deeply feels the many changes in his career, in his life; changes in all of their lives. Is it a good thing? Change can be good. Some change is necessary for growth. If things never changed, they would still be a bunch of kids from a company no one had ever heard of making music that only a handful of people listened to. Change can be great. But, once you get where you're suppose to be, once you reach the top, why does it have to keep changing? Can't you stop changing and stay, right there at the top? What's the point of climbing the mountain if you're just going to come back down again?

He taps the pen against his bottom lip as he thinks. What's another word for change? alter? shift? none of them sound very positive. He looks down at the note pad and is surprised to see that he's been drawing a doodle absentmindedly while he was lost in thought. He looks at the dark, thick lines scratched in the shape of a box in the exact center of the page. Inside it, is a figure, a man maybe, arms outstretched to the roof of the box, almost pushing at it. He studies it curiously, wondering at his subconscious before he shakes off the heavy thoughts and tosses the notepad back onto the table beside him as he throws off the covers.

He walks straight toward his kitchen, passing the closed door to the edit room, trying not to look at it. He keeps his eyes straight ahead as he rounds the corner and turns on the light. He sees the wine rack has been refilled by Mrs. Park, the empty spaces, where the two bottles they drank once were, are now filled with Hawke's Bay Bordeaux blends. He wonders if Binna has ever been to New Zealand. He sits down at the counter, pulling one of the bottles from the rack and he opens it quickly, pouring into a large glass laid out on a tray nearby. He looks over the second glass left out on this tray, with a small dish filled with chocolates and realizes that Mrs. Park has obviously made some terrible assumption about the sort of relationship he has with Binna. He shakes his head as he pops one of the chocolates into his mouth. 

He laughs a little at the idea of what she must have thought to have found Binna in the apartment already when she entered, and, wearing the same clothing from the previous day. He blushes at the implication. Although she has been lovely to any girl who happened to still be there the next morning, he blushes for Binna, who would never want her to think anything less than professional has occurred between them. He takes a large drink from the glass, swirling the jammy wine in his mouth, and his smile grows as the warmth of the grape soothes his restless thoughts.