Aftertaste, noun
Af·ter·taste
: persistence of a sensation (as of flavor or an emotion) after the stimulating agent or experience has gone
There was once a time she was running away from her life, from people, from everything and everyone; running a...
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Years back, Christmas time wasn't my favourite. Mostly because while, yes, everything was pretty and magical, I was also alone and had nobody to celebrate it with. Christmas was always lonely for me and I felt loneliness then more than ever. Everyone had someone. When you walked on the streets, you'd see people shopping with huge smiles. Shopping for gifts for other people. Shopping for decorations.
I did none of that. I sat at home in my room and tried to act like it's just a normal day. Or a normal few days. Those were the hardest times and my thoughts drifted to dark ones very often.
There were a lot of times in my life where I felt suicidal. I dreamed of it, even. It would be so easy to end it all and get out of the pain I was constantly feeling. I had no one in my life and felt that no one would miss me, anyway.
But then, somehow, I always felt like I owed it to my parents to become someone. Someone good. It felt impossible back then and I was on the verge of giving up, but then I got the opportunity to get the hell out of that town and the country and I said to myself this would be one more thing I'd try to make things different for myself.
And it worked. God, did it work.
Alexander and I are on our way to shop for a Christmas tree. Our first one since we didn't put one up last year. We're not listening to christmas music on our way because Alexander would never be caught doing that. He has to maintain his bad boy image, of course.
I'm giddy with excitement. Everything is so pretty in London when it's Christmas time. You can feel the magic in the air when you walk around and you can see it in people. It's different than normally.
"You piece of fuck, how about you stay on your goddamn lane," Alexander curses, making my gaze shift from the streets outside to him.
I'm smiling and Alexander gives me a double look, catching the look on my face. "What's up with you?" he asks, his forehead creased.
Alexander, apparently, doesn't feel the Christmas spirit. He's his usually grumpy-self, experiencing road-rage. "Nothing. I'm just admiring how pretty everything looks. Look around yourself, I guarantee you'll get into a better mood."
Alexander grunts. "I have to be watchin' out for all these idiots that don't know how to fucking drive, apparently, Gabrielle." He lets out a long exhale and I can just see how frustrated he is.
I put my hand on his thigh, squeezing it a little to calm him down.
He lets out a long exhale through his nose. "Okay. I'm fine. I'm goo– oh, you bloody moron! Watch where the fuck you're going!" Alexander presses the honk, making my body jerk up in surprise.
"Uhm," I mumble, my eyes wide.
"Sorry," Alexander says, half-sincerely. "I just fucking hate this traffic."
Yeah, I noticed. As did everyone else. "Okay, but just calm down a little and enjoy how pretty everything looks around us."
Alexander's eyes run over to our surroundings and he says, "Yeah, the only thing I'm seeing are crowds of people everywhere."
