Aftertaste (Sin #2)

XVI.

I'm nervous.

Alexander and I don't see much of each other during the day because we don't have the same classes. Being occupied for the whole day is good because I don't have to think and psyche myself up for tonight.

I have another short meeting after the classes about the tutoring and when I come home, I eat lunch and study. Alexander isn't at home. He texted me before that he's out and doesn't know if he'll be home when I come home.

When I organise my space on the desk to revisit, I get a text from Sam.

Sin said you're coming to the race tonight?

It's so weird to see people calling him with that name. I'm not used to hearing it that much anymore since he's not racing anymore and people aren't shouting it at him. Even though I have this name tattooed on me, he was never Sin for me.

I am, I reply back.

I bite down on my bottom lip because Sam reminded me of this again. And now I'm nervous again.

I groan to myself. Seriously. Stop being such a coward.

Cool! Can't wait to see you comes her response and I smile because there's at least something I'm looking forward to.

˙˙˙

Alexander comes home when I'm about halfway done with revision. I'm slow today because I'm too distracted. I'm very restless.

Alexander peeks inside the bedroom, seeing me at the desk. "Hi. You're very quiet."

"I'm studying," I say simply.

"Hmm," he says and then walks to where I'm sitting, leaning down and giving me a kiss. He places his hand on the backrest and the other one on the desk so he has me completely caged in while his eyes roam over my face.

"What?" I ask with a smile, scared that I'm not hiding my uneasiness very well. But I don't have to hide anything from him. He knows. Of course he knows. He knows me better than I know myself.

"Are you excited? For tonight?"

"I'm very excited to see Sam," I say carefully, avoiding the real question he's asking.

His lips pull up at the corners. "Only to see Sam?"

I shrug. "Babe," he says, shaking his head.

"What?" I ask. "I haven't seen her in a long time!"

"You haven't seen me race in a long time, either."

My face falls because he makes me remember the last time I did see him race. His face falls, too. "Gabrielle," he says softly.

I inhale deeply, moving my eyes away from his face. "Yes. It's been a long time," I say. My hands are shaking.

"Hey," he says softly, moving a few strands of hair away from my face so he can see me better. He watches me so long I have no choice but to look at him. "It's all going to be okay," he reassures me. "I'm always careful." His voice is quiet and soft.