Last Kiss Goodbye • Teenage Juice Ortiz

92 - If I Could Turn Back Time

PRESENT

For a moment, Emilio managed to forget about everything that had happened yesterday. He had never been at a petting farm before but seeing how his son chased goats or held a lengthy conversation with a chicken made his lips curl up.

From the outdoor cafe, he watched Glenn walk across a suspension bridge at the playground. Fortunately, he hadn't inherited his fear of heights. 

Taking a sip from his coffee, he leaned back in his chair. Soon, his thoughts wandered off to the situation at home. How would the talk between Juan and Rafi go? Had there been a giant fight; had one of them stormed off? Could June handle it? Or had they been able to talk things out? 

He dreaded going home. The prospect to face Juan again made his stomach cramp up. What was he supposed to say after their kiss? Should he say anything about it all or was it better to act as if nothing happened? There was an aching in his chest and he craved for a joint. It was unbelievable how easily an old habit like that crawled back into his life. Or was it because of Juan? 

He however fought off the urge. 

Yesterday, smoking pot only caused shit. It neither was an example he wanted to set for Rafi and his son and he knew June wouldn't be happy about it either. She had always hated them being high.

Even though Emilio tried to postpone the moment he had to return home as much as possible, he had no other choice when Glenn climbed on his lap and leaned against his shoulder, his eyes shut. The kid was exhausted. He might have felt some of the tension, so taking him home might be wise—at least when everybody had calmed down. 

And stays calm, the moment I cross the threshold. 

He wasn't fifteen anymore. He had to go through this. 

He paid for the coffee and soda and headed to the car. 

. . .

After saying Jordy goodbye, Emilio carried his son inside, who was sleeping. The fact that he had to put Glenn to bed first was a good excuse to avoid a confrontation. To his relief, the three were sitting at the kitchen table. June smiled at him, which made his heart a little lighter. Juan turned his face away, his shoulders tense. 

Emilio swallowed a lump in his throat. 

He had been in love with his best friend for years. A part of him still wanted to deny it. It was too bizarre to believe. Just like that idiot story of Jordy, when she told me Mateo and I kissed. 

Imagining a scene like that only caused a mush of confused feelings, so he quickly stopped these thoughts. Nodding at June, he went upstairs where he put Glenn in bed. With a crooked smile, he watched his sleeping son. 

I just hope you won't fuck things up as badly as your old man did, kid. He left the room and closed the door behind him. 

Before going downstairs he took a long shower so he no longer smelled like beasts. Thereafter, he descended the stairs with leaden steps. Hesitating, he stood still in the doorway to the living room. 

This house no longer felt like home.

It felt like Juan had taken his place in only two days. 

Juan, who's wanted by a motor gang ánd the cops. 

There was a protectiveness flaring up that was quite similar to how he felt towards his five-year-old kid. 

Juan had gone through enough. As a kid, as a teen—and apparently, also in the years that followed. It had to be fucking enough now. He wouldn't allow some bunch of biker dicks—or anyone else—to lay their hands on him. They needed to find a solution and create a new identity.