Last Kiss Goodbye • Teenage Juice Ortiz

22 - What She's Worth

Edited

THE PAST

Juan had wrapped his arms around her, his hands resting softly on her stomach. She had spread her fingers across the tops of his hands, leaning into him as she rested her head against his shoulder, now and then looking up at him. Every time she did, the smile on his face grew bigger and he held her just a little tighter. Still there was a searching look in her eyes, as if she was afraid this was just a dream.

There was a silence between them, but it wasn't an uncomfortable one.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, kissing her cheekbone very lightly.

She turned a bit more towards him, laying an arm around his shoulder as she adjusted herself in his lap; his hand moving with her, falling to her hip as he held her steady.

"I was wondering how this evening might have gone if I had said yes to you that first time."

"I can't think of anything better than this, and that wouldn't have happened if you hadn't turned me down. I mean, yeah sure it led to some awkward moments but I think it helped us, in the end."

Her cheeks turned red and she bowed her head. Juan bit the inside of his cheek; he knew exactly what memory was plaguing her now. With his thumb he caressed her heated cheek. "You don't need to feel ashamed, June. I was the one who tripped and dragged you down with me... And uh, it was just a flash, you know. I'm sure nobody saw it."

"You did," she mumbled.

"Yeah, I did," he said softly. Cupping her jaw with his hand, he lifted her head so she looked him in the eye. "What I saw was beautiful, June, just like everything about you is beautiful. Your eyes, your smile, your jawline, the curve of your nose..." He continued, with his finger tracing the same path as his words. When her cheeks reached a darker tint of red and he grinned slightly. "And also your flushed cheeks."

Her teeth pressed down onto her bottom lip and he let his finger glide across it.

"And your lips, how could I forget those." He kissed them, but pulled back soon after, since this wasn't the right time to get carried away.

His fingers descended, travelling across her neck, caressing her collar bone. He heard how her breathing increased as he stroked her skin; he kept an eye on her reactions, making sure that he didn't wander too close to the hem of her dress. He didn't want to scare her.

There was no doubt in his mind that both Mateo and Emilio would have gone further if they were in his position, but this was enough for him; just holding her close, knowing he wasn't crossing any of her borders and that she felt comfortable sitting like this with him.

"How are you feeling?" he asked in a soft tone. "Don't get me wrong, I love having the opportunity to sit here with you, to kiss, cuddle, and dance... and I know you enjoy it too... but tonight hasn't been easy for you, with what Rodey did. And I know you got friends you can talk to about it, but you can talk to me about too, if you want to, I mean. I... I wanna be there for you as well."

June bent her head, staring down at his hand that was resting on her thigh. Following her glance, he moved his hand away, not sure if speaking Rodey's name had called up bad memories.

"Oh, well umm, not much really happened," she muttered. "He tried to kiss me and when I didn't kiss him back and tried to push him away, he got frustrated and put his hand across my mouth and started to kiss my neck. And then his other hand..." He heard how she breathed in sharply. She took a moment, whether it was to pull herself together or to figure out how to continue, Juan wasn't sure but she continued on. "Then his hand slid inside my bra. I think – I think my panic made it worse than it was. You showed up really soon. I... I assume I was just not clear enough, that I..."