Last Kiss Goodbye • Teenage Juice Ortiz

41 - Always

Edited

THE PAST

Arm stretched across the table he held her hand, his thumb rubbing up and down, caressing her knuckle. Even though his hold was gentle, he rambled enthusiastically about the trouble he had gotten into with Emilio at the start of summer when they had gone out to eat something. But after they were done they realized that neither of them had brought money. Instead of calling their parents or friends, to help them out they had thought up this elaborate plan to sneak out of the restaurant. When Emilio accidentally ran down an old lady and Juan went to help her get up, the owner grabbed the collar of his shirt. Miraculously, the man didn't call the cops on them, or their parents but he did force Juan and Emilio to come in and clean the place for a week.

June couldn't take her eyes off him. His eyes were shining as he was telling his story, with wild gestures of his hands, forgetting about the fact that their fingers were laced. Every time he laughed, June felt heat settle in her stomach and started to hate the table between them more and more; all she wanted was cuddle up to him, as close as she could. He was just so – so amazing. And he had fallen for her. She was still having a hard time believing; it felt like she was trapped in her own fantasy.

Her eyes were drawn back to their laced fingers. If they were back in school, or around his friends, would he act the same as he was now? So sweet, with all those gentle touches? She doubted it – the side he was showing her probably hadn't been seen by many. It made her feel special, but at the same time she feared that he might be consumed by that alternate version.

When the waitress put their meals on the table, the thought floated away. Juan wasted no time and dug in immediately, giving her a thumbs up. "Damn, this tastes fuckin' good. Are you all vegetarians at home?"

"I'm actually the only one. When I was seven my mom bought me a rabbit and ever since I refuse to eat meat." She laughed softly, taking a bite of her pasta.

A silence fell. The look in Juan's eyes told her that he was lost in thought. She squeezed his hand until his focus returned. "What are you thinking of?"

"Hmm, you just made me remember the bed in your living room. And – Jordy told me that your father left you. I guess I was thinking that talking about families is something one does on a first date... but I don't want you to get sad."

June dropped her eyes. Talking about her father, about her mother... that was a painful topic. She might ruin the whole evening. On the other hand; it was an important topic, especially because from her understanding, his family wasn't much more stable than hers.

"At least there will be some distraction later tonight," she muttered. Her eyes were aimed at the pasta. She wasn't very hungry anymore, although she kept taking small bites. "Two years ago my mother was diagnosed with ALS. It's a neurological disease that causes the death of neurons controlling the muscles. It starts with exhaustion and weak muscles, but in the end all her muscles will paralyze."

She looked up. Juan stared at her, his face pale. "Shit June... that's... that's horrible. I don't know what to say. Does that mean that... that she..."

"There is no cure. The life expectancy of an ALS patient is between three and five years." She bent her head. "So three more years at most and then she will be... gone. Probably even earlier." Pressing her lips together, she took a deep breath, avoiding his glance. She didn't want his pity, she would probably start to cry.

"And there's no meds to slow it down?"

"We can't afford them," she muttered.

"Oh baby..." His voice sounded shaky. The chair shoved to the side and a moment later he was sitting next to her, pulling her into his arms.