Last Kiss Goodbye • Teenage Juice Ortiz

89 - Valuable Lessons

Already during his way from his Chevrolet Impala to the front door, he was about to turn around and go back multiple times. He didn't even know what he was going to do here. Okay, that was bullshit. He knew it all too well. But it was stupid and dangerous and above all stupid. She might chase him away. Verbally, that is. After all, she couldn't even take three steps. He felt ashamed of his thoughts and it didn't add to his confidence at all. This however was an idea that had been on his mind for weeks and now he was sure that June was not at home, he wanted to take his chances. 

For he didn't really have anything to lose...

Worst case scenario she didn't want her daughter to see him anymore. Which was a little bit complicated by the fact that Juan was living with him, but they could work their way around that. 

In the meantime he had reached the door. He laid his hand on the wood, which felt weathered under his palm. Were the twins still awake? Or would he scare the shit out of that woman by entering her home? He had taken Juan's key; his little brother was so busy with June celebrating her 17th birthday that he wasn't going to miss it. 

Mateo could also ring the doorbell, but it was past nine. The twins might be asleep and he didn't want her to come to the door. What if she collapsed halfway? How ironic would that be, if the woman died because he was visiting her while it was his purpose to do the opposite. 

"Fucking hell," he grumbled to himself. "Stop bein' such a wuss."

He had no idea what was going on with him. Last time he had visited June's house at Thanksgiving, he'd been nervous too. Somehow mothers and little sisters were obviously getting on his nerves, although everything had gone well that day. 

Mateo pushed away his doubts and put the key in the hole, turned it around and opened the door. He caught himself walking carefully, as if his footsteps would trigger an alarm. He knocked at the door and opened it on a crack. 

Fortunately, she was awake. 

If not, he would have felt like a complete creep. 

"Uh, hey," he muttered. "I stole Juan's key."

Most mothers would narrow their eyes in suspicion, but not Hannah. She offered him a warm smile. Which was ten times worse, somehow. Mothers warned their daughters for guys like him — but well, June wasn't his girlfriend. That helped. 

"Good evening, Mateo. Please, come in."

And so he did, with due trepidation. He shoved his hands in his pockets, hoping to find back a bit of his confidence, for he really hated how he felt right now. Walking over to the bed, he looked around. What now? Did she expect a kiss or something? 

A tense silence fell. Again he was bothered by the same thought; What the hell are you doing here? 

This was a mistake. He should kept himself out of this. 

"Did they chase you out of your apartment?" Hannah asked with a small smile. If it bothered her that he didn't greet her decently, she didn't show it. Her light tone however made the longing to leave disappear. 

"Sorta. Gonna go back soon."

They celebrated June's birthday, so it wouldn't exactly be a wild party. No strippers and no booze. He wouldn't miss much if he would go there within an hour; he thought the present he'd bought with Emilio was going to be the highlight of the evening. Thinking about that while he was standing in front of June's mother, gave him an awkward feeling. 

The woman must wonder what the hell he was doing here.

"Is there something I can help you with, Mateo?"