Last Kiss Goodbye • Teenage Juice Ortiz

46 - Love

Edited 

THE PAST

The events from earlier kept racing through his mind; again and again he kept seeing flashes, his mother's bleeding face, the hatred churning in both of their eyes, the cuffs around Mateo's wrists, June's shocked expression. Tirelessly the images kept repeating themselves, until he felt sick. Even holding June in his arms wasn't enough to expel the coldness he felt. Lying here with her like this should have made him feel better but it only caused a pit to form in his stomach. Was she still angry with him for pushing for more than a kiss? He could still imagine her fingers around his dick and how good it had felt. And yet – the fact that she hadn't wanted to touch him for real, frustrated him. All he could do was accept that he had to wait until she was ready, but he found it hard. Harder than he had thought it would be, once he had felt her fingers brushing his skin he wanted more.

For more than a year now, he had been fantasizing about how it would feel to touch her. His hands were tingling at the thought of them gliding across her breasts, taking off her shirt, his lips trailing from her neck down to her navel. After that, his fingers would slowly slip farther, dipping into her panties and discovering if she kept her skin smooth or if he would find soft hair tickling his fingertips. He wanted to be able to look into her eyes, the moment he gently explored her private parts, their breathing heavy because of the thrill, a nervous smile on her lips showing him how she loved his touch.

His hand pressed onto his hard cock for a moment, closing his eyes he thought back to her fingers – how much pressure had they put? A moan almost escaping his lips, the idea of getting himself off while she was so close plagued him. Immediately he dropped the thought, feeling ashamed.

But wasn't she curious at all? Had she never fantasized about him in such a way? Or did girls like her not do such things? What did they imagine? He remembered her drawings; a kiss, a hug, walking hand in hand. Much more innocent things, all except for the sketch where he had held her breast. But –

Suddenly June shot up in bed, screaming. His body jolted and he sat up too, his heart pounding in his chest.

"Hey..." A lump appeared in his throat as she started to cry. Quickly he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. "Hey, it's okay, it was just a nightmare baby." Gently he stroked her hair. She pressed her face against his shoulder, her tears sticking to his skin. Her shoulders were shaking and her fingertips were pressing against his bare back as she clung to him.

For a moment he let her cry, not knowing if he should say something or let her get it all out. In the end she pulled away from him, wiping her face sniffing.

"Sorry," she whispered, bending her head as she laid down again, her back towards him.

Juan hesitated. What should he do now? He couldn't pretend nothing happened. He wished he could get off the bed and kneel in front of her, but the bed was put against the wall. "Please, turn around June," he said in a soft but compelling tone.

At first he thought that she was going to ignore him, then she turned around. Her eyes were gleaming, she still seemed to be frightened.

"You wanna tell me about your nightmare?"

She dropped her eyes and muttered a soft "No."

On any other day he might have accepted that, but not now. "Were you dreaming about... what happened at my house?"

She pressed her lips together, still refusing to look him in the eye. With a restrained sigh he laid his hand against her cheek. "Sweetheart... please. Say something." Slowly, he caressed her skin with his thumb, a shiver moving through him as a tear trickled on his fingertip.