Last Kiss Goodbye • Teenage Juice Ortiz

23 - Torturing Memories

Edited

PRESENT

Juice loosened the strap of his helmet, slowly taking it off his head. Just like earlier, he was once again standing out front of a house. This time it was a modest duplex with a flower garden that had so many lights in it that it blinded him.

Again he hesitated; should he ring the doorbell or just get back on his bike?

You promised June.

However, he had always found it hard to reach out for help, and recently the only ones who he had counted on, had turned their backs on him. It made it so much harder to trust someone else now, even if it was June and by extension Jordy.

Through the window he could see the light was still on. It was close to midnight now, he couldn't wait much longer if he was going to go in. The last handful of hours he had aimlessly driven throughout the area, hoping to clear his mind, but everything that had been said, kept racing through his head. So many memories had shaken themselves loose, so many things he had buried deeply, things he had wanted to forget.

He squeezed his eyes shut. Walk to the door. Just walk to the door and ring the bell, he instructed himself, before his thoughts dragged him back into the fear filled chaos again. Breathing in deeply, he took a step forwards. Followed by another one. His feet felt like they were made of lead; he wanted to turn around and walk away – but where could he go? He had no one; no friends, no family that would be willing to see him. Only June – and only because she was too sweet to turn him away, too sweet to kick him to the curb like he deserved.

He had reached the door. The journey seemed to have taken the last of his strength, so he took a moment; resting his hand against the wood, and soon after that his head. But this only allowed the itching in his skull to increase; the whispering voices reminding him of his betrayal.

"Come on, man up," he muttered to himself, knowing that he had to do something before someone could take him for a lunatic. Before he could change his mind, his finger shot to the doorbell and pressed. Nervously he rubbed his arms, now and then looking longingly over his shoulder to his bike. He wanted to run, like he had fled from everything that had come before. But he was so tired of running...

The light over the front porch switched on, the door was swung open.

It was surreal to see Jordy standing there after all these years – it was even stranger than seeing June. He had thought about June everyday, but Jordy... she really was a memory from another life, a time long forgotten.

"Hey, come in."

She stepped aside to let him in and Juice stepped across the threshold. Her hair was a soft pink now instead of the vibrant blue she carried through high school, tossed up in a messy bun. It made her face softer, her eyes more expressive.

She laid a hand against his chest and kissed his cheek. Her lips were soft, causing a shiver to flow through his body. He had felt lonely for such a long time now, that every touch felt strange.

He followed her into the living room. Twice, he narrowly avoided tripping over a cat; he quickly counted at least four of the animals, rubbing their bodies across his lower legs; almost as if they could feel his distress.

It was a cozy home, filled with so many seats that it seemed like there was a meeting held earlier that night. The walls were covered in brightly colored paintings, he had no idea what they were meant to be depicting.

"My boyfriend made them," she told him when she caught him staring. "He's an artist. He usually paints on the attic room at night, so you probably won't see him until tomorrow." She gave him a wink.