Last Kiss Goodbye • Teenage Juice Ortiz

57 - Heart To Heart

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THE PAST

His lips were leaving small kisses in her neck while he was listening to her heavy breathing. Rolling her nipples between his thumb and forefinger, he watched her face from the side. She had closed her eyes, her head tilted back a little. She looked so fucking hot. He imagined how she would look if his lips took the place of his fingers, and how her breathing would sound as they were lying naked on top of each other, their bodies warm and full of expectation until he slowly entered her. How would she feel around him? How would her moaning sound? Would she whisper his name – and call it out later? Images flashed through his head. Between his legs he felt a throbbing sensation; he was hard as hell and he was dying to feel her fingers stroking him – or her lips. Oh, her lips... He swallowed a desirous growl. Was she thinking about things like that too? Did she want him to touch those parts of her body too? Was she just as excited as he down there? His mouth felt dry at the thought of slipping his tongue through her wetness; she would arch her back with pleasure as he tasted her – something nobody had done before. 

His fingertips were touching her waistband. He was just about to slip his hand into her pants when he realized what he was doing. Quickly he pulled back his hand, settling it on her stomach. A little ashamed he pressed his cheek against hers, holding her tight. He didn't know if she had noticed what he had been about to do and swallowed an apology. 

Only after half a minute he dared to peek at her face; she still looked relaxed and there was a dreamy smile on her lips. Hesitating, he let go of his fear – this time he hadn't ruined things.

"I love you June." His voice sounded a bit hoarse. He didn't know why, suddenly he felt very vulnerable. As if what they had, was very fragile and he could lose it any moment. He had said those words to her before, even during the past hour, but he wanted her to know, to realize the importance of his words, so that she would never doubt it and would never leave him. 

She turned a little so she could look at him, making him wonder if she had heard a vibration in his voice. "Is something wrong?"

He felt his cheeks glow. Instead of shaking his head in denial, he caressed her cheek. "You feel like the only thing in my life that's beautiful. Sometimes – sometimes I'm just afraid to lose you. That I – that I don't deserve this." He dropped his eyes and lowered his hand.

He hadn't wanted to tell her that.

She cupped his cheeks with her hands and raised his head. Her soft lips touched his and she kissed him gently. As his fingers were entangled in her hair, his tongue brushed hers, and he felt the tinglings race across his arms and legs. 

After a while she pulled back her face and kept his glance. "If you don't deserve this, no one does." Her thumb stroked across his bottom lip. "I love you Juan, and there's no place I'd rather be than around you. I'm going nowhere."

His lips bent into a hesitating smile. She was like an angel. So beautiful, so sweet, so pure... And precisely because of that, the accusations of his mother buzzed through his head. That he would ruin her, that he would hurt her sooner or later.

"Stop," she whispered, and she leaned with her forehead against his. "I can almost hear your thoughts. These aren't nice ones."

He wanted to bow his head in shame because he had killed the mood once again, but her head kept him from doing so.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"Let them go baby. Only keep the thoughts that will make us happy."

Us.