Last Kiss Goodbye • Teenage Juice Ortiz

64 - Confusion

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THE PRESENT

Rafi knew his mother didn't like him drinking too much, but whenever Chelsea was around it was hard to drink in moderation. He didn't want to look like a pussy. A few weeks ago she'd broken up with her five your older boyfriend and the last thing he wanted was her to find him a baby. She had been vague about the reason of their break-up and he hadn't dared to ask questions about it. Kim had mentioned that she had feelings for someone else and he couldn't help it had made his heart beat faster. Of course the chance that it was him was negligible. He wasn't exactly able to flirt like a boss. Emilio had told him to just lay an arm around her casually, whispering in a confident voice that he could give her a night to remember, but he knew damn sure that sentence would never leave his lips without sounding like a fucking stutterer. Plus, he had never given anyone a night to remember while she had sex with a much older – and much more experienced – guy, so he knew he couldn't live up to her expectations. 

Taking another swig from his beer, he looked at the backdoor. Somewhere at the back of the garden a couple was being all gropy, but if he sat down on the small wall separating the grass from the terrace, he didn't have to look at them. Muttering he was going to have a smoke, he got up and headed outside. 

His silent hope of her joining him was ridiculous. He could have just asked her. It was fucking stupid, but she was the reason he was smoking at all; he had hoped it made him look tougher, obscuring his insecurity. 

He met her half a year ago. Since his friend started to date her best friend. She joined their group of friends quickly, and after showing them their garden house this had became their favorite place to hang out. Especially because her parents were super chill and didn't mind them having a beer. 

A movement in the corner of his eye distracted him. Although he had hoped for her to sit down next to him, sweat started to pour down when she really did so. Putting a cigarette between her lips, she cocked her head to the side. "You got a light?"

He knew she had a lighter herself and his insides started to glow. Quickly he took the lighter from his pack of cigarettes and shielded the cigarette between her lips with his hand, although there was no wind. His fingers were tingling now they were so close to her face and in silence he prayed they wouldn't start to tremble because of his nervousness. 

When the cigarette burnt, she smiled at him. Shyly, he bit his lip. He thought about Emilio's words. No fucking way he was going to invite her for a hot night, but maybe he could say something else while laying an arm around her? However, his head just seemed empty and quickly he drank from his beer, hoping she didn't notice his awkwardness. 

"I saw your dad yesterday," she said. "When I was working at the grocery store. You really have a young dad, right? He's so hot."

Rafi choked on his beer and started to cough. Immediately he turned his face away from her, which was turning flaming red. Ashamed he wiped the drops of beer from his lips and he didn't dare to look at her again. He felt so hot that he believed it was a miracle the beer didn't start to boil in the bottle he was holding. Had she really told him that his mom's boyfriend was hot?!

Chelsea laughed softly. "I didn't mean to startle you." She laid a hand on his thigh and slowly moved her hand up and down. "If anything, it explains why you look so handsome."

Rafi could feel her hand burn right through his pants. He needed another swig of beer to put out the flames raging through his whole body, but he was afraid his nervousness would make him choke again. 

"He's not my biological dad," he muttered.

Right after his words he cursed himself. Why the hell did he say that when his crush called him handsome?! What the hell was going on with him today? He didn't feel like himself at all and Chelsea only made things worse. Was it because of his uncle who he had seen after all those years? The thought about that man made the anger flow through his veins again. Quickly he aimed his attention back at Chelsea's caressing movements; he didn't want to ruin the moment. Especially not because of his stupid uncle.