Last Kiss Goodbye • Teenage Juice Ortiz

32 - Holding On Or Letting Go

Edited 

THE PAST

Juan felt relieved when a car pulled to a stop in front of the playground. Jordy stepped out of the vehicle and June immediately stood up, hugging her friend after she had taken a few steps away from him. For a while the girls talked to each other, voices low enough that Juan wasn't able to understand what was being said; then, as the conversation seemed to come to a close, Jordy surprised him as she turned and headed in his direction. Past her, he could see that June had taken a seat in the car – just like that, without saying goodbye.

"Hey..." Jordy spread her arms. "Come on, everyone feels better after a hug from me!"

Juan snorted and stared at her with a sulky face. Jordy shrugged her shoulders and sat down on the empty swing.

"Give her some time, Juan. June... has always so busy making everyone else happy that she finds it hard to think about her own happiness as well."

"Well she doesn't seem to care about mine."

Jordy heaved a sigh. "She wants you to be happy too, Juan. It's just... she undervalues herself so much... she believes you don't truly like her and that you'll be over her very quickly; that another girl will come along and make you happy in no time. Even if you or I try and say anything different it won't work right now," Jordy added when she saw he wanted to protest. "Her self-confidence... that needs to grow." Jordy took his hand and squeezed. A bit dazed he stared at her bright, yellow nails. "What Beth is asking from her is insane. She's playing on her feelings, she knows how insecure June is." Her voice sounded dark and Juan had to admit that hearing her words filled him with relief. It wasn't just him, he was glad that Jordy had the same opinion.

"I like the two of you together, Juan. The love is radiating from the both of you. I will keep pushing her – I think Beth just gave her an excuse and that it's more likely she has a fear of commitment. She – she's had a hard time letting new people in since her father took off. And I know her feelings for you are very strong, Juan, I think she's afraid that she will get hurt if she gets into a relationship, she's really scared that you are going to change your mind and that your feelings for her will disappear. It isn't just Beth that's in the way of a relationship – it's her own insecurity, her own negative view of herself. That's why things are so difficult." She squeezed his hand once more. "But I keep pushing her through it – and I will do that now. Besides, her mom already likes you a lot, and she hasn't even met you yet, and she isn't too happy about June's friendship with Beth, so I'm sure she'll try to make June change her mind too. And if there's anyone whose opinion June values more than mine, it's hers." Jordy gave him a wink.

A little dazed Juan stared at her. He hadn't known that her father had abandoned his family, it made sense that it would leave her with some issues; he knew those better than anyone.

"How is it possible that her mom..." He didn't even know how to finish his sentence.

A smile crossed Jordy's lips. "I pushed June a bit to talk to her mother about you. She looks always so cute when she talks about you, and except for Beth it makes everyone smile."

Juan felt his cheeks turn red, by which Jordy started to laugh. "Yes, when she talks about you she has exactly these red cheeks." She got off the swing and stood across from him. "Give it some time. She's worth it, Juan. She's loyal like hell, and once she's your girl, you'll never want anyone else."

Juan didn't know how she did it, but his lips bent into a grin. His girl... Man, he wanted that so badly...

Again Jordy spread her arms. "Come on, I've deserved a hug after that pep talk, right?"