Last Kiss Goodbye • Teenage Juice Ortiz

26 - Head in the Sand

Edited 

THE PAST

Juan let the change slip into his pocket as he took the bouquet of roses. He still wasn't entirely sure if this was too much, but other than the few times he had been to his friend Riley's he had never been at a girl's house and it didn't help that half of the time he forgot Riley was a girl at all.

Going to June's house gave him a special feeling and he wanted to impress her parents. Her parents... The nerves were suddenly sloshing through his body. How would he be received? Would they like him or would they wish June had taken someone else home? He tried to convince himself they had to be kind people since June had inherited their genes, at least that's what he assumed. June had never spoken of her parents before but; well, with their track record they hadn't talked about their personal lives much. But he was also hesitant to compare June to her parents since he liked to think he wasn't anything like his own parents.

He wiped his clammy hands on his pants as he left the flower store, continuing his walk to her house. It was hard to believe that she had already invited him over. That was a positive right? She hadn't wanted to wait until Monday, so maybe last night was enough for her to decide that she wanted to be with him. As a real couple. Finally. The thought of it made his heart jump, causing a wide smile to take over his face.

The prospect of seeing June again, on only a few short minutes, pushed away the flashes of memory that had been plaguing him all day. The gushing blood. The screams. The knife in his shaking hand. The earth seeming to spin around him as he stumbled backwards. Images that had kept him from sleeping – and only the thought of June was able to dispel the nasty cold that had invaded his body.

Her house came into sight. His knees felt week as he walked up the garden path. He looked at the roses in his hand, he could still get rid of them. Maybe she'd think they were trite, but after listening to Guns 'n Roses for hours, it had just felt fitting.

Nervously he bounced on his toes as he pressed the doorbell. Fumbling on the hem of his shirt, he waited until someone would open the door. How should he greet her? With a kiss? A hug? His grasp around the bouquet tightened in anticipation.

Finally the door opened. For a moment he was afraid that a surly looking father would be staring back at him, but it was June herself.

"Hey," he said – his voice sounding like something was stuck in his throat. Awkwardly he cleared his throat.

He saw her lips move, but she didn't make a sound. Without looking at him, she stepped aside to let him in.

Juan's shoulders tensed. "I, uh, I brought you these." A bit awkwardly he held out the roses. Sweat inched it's way down his neck.

She took the flowers, but still avoided his glance. There was no 'thank you', she said nothing at all. Juan held himself awkwardly in front of her; his hand grasping his elbow, not knowing how to stand. She didn't seem to be happy to see him – there was no smile, no shimmering in her eyes. Did she regret their kiss? Was that the reason that she had wanted to see him today? The nerves were almost breaking him and he felt relieved when she left the hallway.

He followed her into the living room. The furniture looked old and a bed was pushed against the wall. Was someone sick? He looked around noticing the medications on the side table, but there was nobody else downstairs.

"My sisters are taking a walk with my mom," she said quietly as she saw him looking around. "So uh, so I can talk to you."

Juan took a deep breath, trying to ignore the nerves in his stomach. His eyes shooting to her face. She was staring at the floor, her face tensed. He wanted to take her hand, wanted to draw her in close, but he didn't dare. She did not look as if she would welcome his touch right now. Because he was afraid his legs could collapse any moment, he moved to sit down on the couch and she did the same, but with some space between them. Folding her hands in her lap, she seemed to be looking for words.