Midnight Tequila | Holy Trinity

Chapter Twenty Five

The blonde's world stopped and the time that she thought stood still, came running again - fast and every tick sounded like a death bomb, eagerly waiting to kiss her death. She was there - with her heart on the ground, her feet cold and her face wrapped in a confusion state. She wanted to cry, to let out all the sobs that she had in her system, but all she did was sit on the bed, emotionless. The words of Sandra telling her that she was still figuring things out made her skin itch and she wanted to puke the memories of what they did. The remnants of last night's event should be forgotten; that shouldn't have happened, but it did. They made love, with her heart thinking Sandra was choosing her, but now, she realized she was wrong.  She remembered the panic on Sandra's face when she realized that Keanu was coming. Her voice shivered and was full of haste, and that was enough for the blonde to know that she wouldn't be giving Keanu up.  Cate looked at the closed door. Outside, Keanu and Sandra were there and she was inside, hiding. She felt disgusted at her own self that she started grabbing her suit from last night and started dressing herself up. When Cate successfully dressed, she slowly sat on the bed, and with a sigh, she broke down, cried her soul out.

She loved her. She never stopped loving her and last night became one of those nights when she thought they could start all over again. Her heart ached for Sandra's touch, but her heart knew that she was not someone who would be willing to start an affair. She was once inside Keanu's shoes - she once walked through his path - doing everything for a lover, without knowing that the relationship has been tainted with lies and betrayal. Cate was taken aback when the door opened and there stood Sandra.

"Baby..." The brunette chimed, rushing to hold her on the bed, but she was quick to move away from her.

"Don't you dare touch me." Cate stood up and wiped her tears, her voice didn't waver and although it sounded firm, it also sounded like a painful warn.

Sandra sighed and stood up in front of her, her eyes lethargic, "Please, let's talk."

"We have nothing to talk about."

Sandra bit her lip. She didn't speak, instead, she retreated and sat back on the bed. Everything was messed up and she couldn't find the right string to pull to make it right. They fell into a big silence. While the world outside was embracing the glory of a new morning, indulging themselves with the bluish skies and the hummimg of the birds along with the sirens of the city, the two fell into an enormous silence.

"If you're thinking about me becoming your secret lover, me starting a secret affair with you, then fuck you, because I am not." The ice broke when Cate spoke in an angry yet painful tone.

Sandra looked at her, her eyes glowing with sadness, "Is that what you think this is? Can't you understand that I am still figuring things out? Can't you understand that --"

"Oh fuck it, Sandra! Damn it!" The blonde cut her off and her voice raised in fire and she shot her an angry look, "What the fuck is figuring things out? What the fuck is that?!" Cate added as she paced back and forth in front of the brunette, "You fucking asked me to stay last night! You asked me and I thought that you will be ending your relationship because you will be choosing me, but what the fuck is figuring things out?" Her chest heaved up and down, and her once calm and loving ocean blue eyes were now glazing with hate, "I don't understand! I fucking don't!"

Sandra's mouth parted as she listened to the blonde. And when the blonde shut up, Sandra's lips couldn't move to answer her. Instead, her tears fell one by one. She cried sitting on the bed. With the blonde staring at her, she felt hurt, as if every word that came out from Cate's lips were knives. But it was true, she asked her to stay and Cate did, but Keanu was still in the story and she didn't quite know how to write him an ending. Sandra couldn't just push him off the edge like a futile toy.  How could she when he was there with her when she thought she couldn't face another morning anymore? How could she push him when Keanu held her tight in all those nights when she was losing her sanity? Keanu hugged her during those nights when she just wanted to end her life. Keanu had given her hope when she thought there was none and her soul grew to love him. She loved him truly - but when she saw Cate again, when she spoke to her again, her heart screamed the blonde's name; and the realization hit her, her heart failed to unlove Cate and after all those nights when she thought she had moved on, she actually didn't.