Midnight Tequila | Holy Trinity

Chapter Thirty One

When Sandra thought of love, she died at every definition that would be concocted in her mind. She died with the forgotten stars hanging in the grave of hollowness. Every photograph burning inside her memory lane had injected her pain. She felt like a small girl crippled and wrapped in  vineyards, and no matter how hard she tried to get away, she couldn't. She existed in places she no longer wished to be existed; she just wanted to go somewhere far, a place where no one knew her name. She wanted to live in solitude and in between the four corners that only she knew where, she could kiss ache a goodbye.

She loved Keanu, but her heart loved the woman more, who, she was so sure, hated her now. The scenes that happened earlier that day kept on replaying back; it swirled inside her head, ringing and ringing like a ruined vinyl. It's way past midnight. The resort was dead; the bonfire parties were long gone, only the club from afar stood still on fire. The waves touched and kissed her feet. The waves screamed so much stillness, but deep in her heart was a battle she didn't know how to end. She was once afraid of being in love, but she wasn't afraid of the endless arguments, not the bitter nights, nor the chaotic and shameless way of loving; she was afraid that if she'd be in love, she'd be stuck and wouldn't be able to get back on her feet, and it happened. It did happen.

Sandra wiped her tears. It's been hours, but she couldn't stop herself from crying still. When Helena dragged her away from the blonde and brought her to Helena's room instead, she broke down. Her friends consoled her, but the guilt was eating her alive. She knew that she went too far when she confronted Abby. She was driven by the worry and the jealousy that she had in her system. When she broke down, she felt like the world was listening to her cries and somehow, someone out there was happy knowing that she was suffering.

"Hey..."

Sandra immediately wiped her tears when she heard someone behind her back. She put the bottle of tequila on the sand and when she looked back, it was Julia. She gave her a smile, but  Julia knew that it wasn't a smile, it was a facade to lure her into thinking that she's fine.

"Hey..." Sandra answered.

Julia took her slippers off before she walked towards Sandra. She then sat beside her silently. The waves crashed again. Their hair flew and danced along with the breeze.

"Are you mad at me?"

Sandra looked at her. There was an unfathomable emotion written on her face. Her eyes were emotionless, but Julia knew that she had been crying. The sounds of the crashing waves rang again and Julia waited for Sandra to speak.

Sandra took Julia's hand and squeezed it, "Why would I?"

Julia stared at her hand on her lap, with Sandra's hand on top of it. A reassuring gesture that she knew she shouldn't be receiving.

"Because I brought Abby here." She started, pressed her lips together, "If only I knew it'd be a disaster, then I wouldn't. I just thought it'd be fun to bring someone along and knowing you guys, I was sure you will be thrilled to meet a new friend, but it went downhill." She held Sandra's hand and squeezed it back, "Sweetie, I'm sorry."

Sandra let go of her hand. She then looked at the sea again. The water was so dark, but the feeling of the waves reaching up to kiss her feet was light - it's a feathery touch, and it calmed her down.

"Juju, I'm not mad at you." She spoke, "I'm not mad at Abby too. I'm mad at myself." She laughed and looked at Julia, "I really don't know how to explain it, but --"

"You don't have to explain." Julia cut her off  and smiled, "We get it." She grinned.

Sandra laughed at the act, "Stop that grin."