The meaning of protecting you with my life

To Meishan

When Jiang Cheng woke up and looked around the room, he immediately understood that his hopes were for naught. Wei Wuxian had not come back during the night. If he was fine, he would have surely not left them in the dark. This could only mean that he was not fine, probably captured by the Wen sect soldiers. Jiang Cheng could not even know if his brother was still alive, he did not dare to guess either, if he was brought before Wen Chao, it could be that the second heir of the Qishan Wen sect would want to finish the job.

His heart was heavy with sorrow and guilt. He knew that he should not have run away, he had been such a child to believe that his mother and father alone could have stood up to the whole army of Wen sect soldiers, and Wen Zhuliu as well. Because of his foolish hope, his brother was now missing, probably already dead. If he stayed in the room, then Wei Wuxian would not have to go after him.

Jiang Cheng was frowning hard, his thoughts spiralling in way he had never experienced before. He knew he was right but he did not like it, he would also not admit it if anyone asked. Well, aside for Jiang Yanli perhaps.

He remembered that his sister had had a fever and immediately stood up to go check on her. She was still very much asleep. When he touched her forehead, it seemed like the fever had at least went down a bit during the night. Small good news was still good news. They would have to move somewhere safer than this inn, it was even more pressing that Wen soldiers had already come to this small town in the middle of nowhere.

And they were bound to come back to look for them. Wen Chao would surely assume that after finding Wei Wuxian here, his siblings would not be far. They did not have much time, he supposed.

With this knowledge clear, Jiang Cheng gently shook his sister's shoulders to get her to wake up. It took a while but finally, her eyes opened and she blinked at him, confusion very visible on her face.

Then she shot up and he had to catch her before she would fall out of the bed. She must have remembered what had happened because, much like Jiang Cheng a few minutes earlier, she was looking all around the room in search of their brother.

Jiang Cheng did not have the heart to disappoint her himself but it had to be done: "Sister, Wei Wuxian had not returned."

She gasped for air and held his hands tighter. It must have been quite a shock; and Jiang Cheng did not blame her one bit, it was a shock to him too that his strong and quick witted brother would be captured this easily. And then a realization hit him full force. Wei Wuxian had been whipped with Zidian just before their departure from Lotus Pier. His brother had been injured and he just let him chase him all around and then sacrifice himself when the situation called for fighting. He must have been in a bad shape even before encountering the Wen soldiers.

Jiang Cheng gave out a small relieved sigh. He knew that it was not right of him to seek comfort and to alleviate his own guilt at a time like this but now he felt like he was not so much responsible for his brother's capture. It was his mother all along; no, it was actually Wang Lingjiao and Wen Chao who were at fault for Wei Wuxian's temporary weakness which probably costed him his life.

Even if his own guilt was now literally non-existent again, the truth stayed still the same. His brother had not come back and was most probably dead.

Jiang Cheng felt his heart hurting, first his parents and now his brother, all he had left in this world was Jiang Yanli. He hugged her tightly so abruptly that she gave out a surprised yelp. But she did not protest and only circled her arms around him in turn.

They stayed like that for a while, until Jiang Cheng could not feel tears coming out of his eyes anymore and he could awkwardly let go of his sister. Jiang Yanli understood and weakened her hold, she did however not retract her hands fully. They were a comforting presence on his forearms and he was glad for that, it helped him stay anchored to the present and think clearly.

He had to protect his sister. It was now clear that Lotus Pier had fallen and they could not go back. But where should they go at a time like this? Danger lurked everywhere and they would hardly be able to move around with Jiang Yanli's fever and the fact that Jiang Cheng's sword was still in Nightless City after the indoctrination. Who could they count on in this time of need? Who would help them despite them being refugees with nothing to offer in return, only desperately begging for protection?

He was at a complete loss when he whispered: "Sister, what should we do now? Where should we go?"

Jiang Yanli smiled at him reassuringly, certainly not in any lesser turmoil then he himself but still trying her best to calm him down: "A-Cheng, everything will be fine. I believe that A-Xian will be able to pull through somehow. We can now only hope that he had managed to escape and is now on his way back to us. Before he had left, he told me that we should go to Meishan next. Let us do that, if he can, he will join us there."

Jiang Cheng looked at his sister with resurrected hope in his heart. Yes, it was certainly possible that he had been too negative and was burying Wei Wuxian all too soon. His brother was strong, and smart, he could surely take care of a handful of Wen sect soldiers, even if he had been injured. He would not believe his brother was dead until he would see his body with his own eyes, he decided.

With his heart a lot lighter now and a clear plan of the next few days in place, Jiang Cheng was finally able to relax some. He had not been aware of how tightly he had been clenching his fists into his robes before be let go and felt a dull ache as blood was returning into his palms and fingers.

"Let us go to Meishan," he nodded to his sister and she smiled at him sweetly as only she could. "Take you medicine and rest for a while longer. I will go search for the boat we have used to come here. We can continue on the river and then walk the rest of the way. Hopefully we will not encounter any more Wen sect patrols on our way."

"Yes, that is a good plan. I think we better leave as quickly as possible. I believe the search for us will start here, we should not wait for the night to fall." Jiang Yanli agreed, then she added: "I am sure that A-Xian had hidden the boat somewhere nearby and not let it go entirely, we were supposed to go to Meishan in the first place..."

Her voice railed into silence but it was enough for Jiang Cheng to remember their father telling them to go to their grandmother. Perhaps if their parents were by some miracle alright – he was not about to lose hope again until he saw their dead bodies as well – they would come meet them there. And if they were not, they could hide for a few days and rest before deciding where to go next.

Jiang Cheng helped his sister take her medicine and tugged her back to bed. He had to smile a bit, this was the exact opposite of what she had been doing all his life, now it was the time he protected his sister.

He went out of the inn, covering his face just in case any other Wen sect soldiers were still around. He was able to find the boat fairly quickly, it was sufficient to think like Wei Wuxian for a minute.

Before noon came, they were already ways from the small town, heading towards Meishan.