The meaning of protecting you with my life

Healing music

Lan Wangji was sitting by Wei Ying's side and looking at his pale and skinny face. There was not much they could do at this point. His husband was in his own room – at least according to Jiang Yanli this was the room which used to be his before Lotus Pier burned into ashes and had been rebuilt – yet he was still so unnaturally quiet and unmoving. So much unlike the Wei Ying which Lan Wangji fell in love with during the days back in Cloud Recesses. Somehow, it seemed like a lifetime ago even though it had just been a little over half a year.

They were in Lotus Pier for two days already and there had yet to be any change. Although he had been warned by Wen Qing that Wei Ying's recovery would take a while, it was still nearly unbearable. There was almost nothing he could do to help his husband and it was truly mortifying.

He could only assist Jiang Yanli as she patiently tried to pass some soup past Wei Ying's chapped lips, even getting him drink a little bit of water had always been a task for several minutes if not more. Sometimes, Lan Wangji would be left alone to continue. Even though most of the food and water ended up anywhere else but down Wei Ying's throat, he knew he could never give up. His husband would not survive without being fed in this way.

Lan Wangji still found that he had to resist tears when he remembered that Wei Ying was now just a normal man. He did not have his golden core any more, yet he had still managed to be one of the most powerful cultivators there was. He had even defeated Wen Ruohan all on his own and had been able to control the Yin iron. That was something no other would have even close to accomplishing.

Any reassurance Lan Wangji felt at these thoughts were however short-lived each time when he recalled what high price Wei Ying had to pay. It had been Wen Qing who had examined him thoroughly upon their arrival to Lotus Pier and pronounced a diagnosis. Lan Wangji could remember it word for word even after two days:

"Wei Wuxian's condition is very worrying and precarious. While his physical injuries are of little concern and had already been taken care of, I am more worried about his mental state and the fact that his body is plagued with resentful energy. I had been taking care of Wen Ruohan and I had seen several signs like these during that time. It had however never got this bad, it is most probably because..."

Wen Qing had hesitated at that point and it took Jiang Yanli whispering that they all knew that Wei Ying had been missing his golden core for her to continue with no small amount of condolences and understanding:

"Wei Wuxian does not have a golden core which would have helped with the purification of the resentful energy. That is why it affects him more than it had Wen Ruohan, I am sure of it. I cannot see any other way for him to recover more quickly but by getting rid at least of part of the resentful energy coursing through his meridians and gathering where his golden core had once been. If we do not find any way to help him, I am afraid that he would perhaps never wake up again."

As hundred times before, Lan Wangji lifted his hand and touched Wei Ying's ice cold hand. Although he knew it would be of little help since they had tried earlier and there had been not much effect to it, he passed and circulated his spiritual energy within the other. He now knew better than to reach toward where he would have sensed a golden core just half a year ago. He did not like the feeling of that cold and hungry resentment occupying it. It always felt like the resentful energy had been devouring all the spiritual energy they had been trying to give Wei Ying.

Lan Wangji had barely slept for these past two days. He was thinking what he could do more. He was grateful that he had been allowed to spend all his time by Wei Ying's side but it was hard at the same time. He could just sit there, doing nothing and watch how his husband was fighting for his life.

Suddenly, an idea came to his tired mind and he was surprised he had not thought about it earlier. He had only his exhaustion and worries for Wei Ying which were fully occupying his mind to blame. He just remembered how his husband had asked him to sing to him whenever he had felt the worst. He had actually done it twice already: in the Cave of the Tortoise of Slaughter and in the Nightless City palace. Both were in times of his direst need for comfort and support. Was now not also such a time?

Frantic to try out his theory, Lan Wangji let go of Wei Ying's hand, immediately regretting losing the contact, and got out his guqin. He laid it onto his lap and immediately started playing the song he had composed for his husband, the song in which he was confessing his love for the other. He made sure to infuse all the spiritual energy he could into the music, he hoped that in this way he would be able to convey his true feelings which he had not gotten to tell the other while he had still been in his grasp.

He was so lost in his efforts that he at first did not even notice that anyone had entered the room. It took Wen Qing to say his name for him to stop playing and look at her, a bit startled. He had known that the guards outside of the room would not have let anyone dangerous pass but it was still concerning that his mind had not been enough in the present moment for him to realize anyone was in the room with them. What if an assassin had come inside and Lan Wangji would fail to notice him? That was a truly terrifying thought.

To help himself out of the morose thoughts, Lan Wangji focused on Wen Qing instead. The Dafan Wen clan doctor was just checking on Wei Ying's vitals as she had been doing several times a day. Truth to be told, Lan Wangji had already stopped hoping for her to give him any positive news anytime soon. After all, it had been her who had said that they should not expect any miracles; it would actually be one if Wei Ying would wake up at all.

However, right now, Wen Qing's expression was disbelieving and she grabbed Wei Ying's wrist with her other hand as well. Something must have happened.

Lan Wangji was impatient to hear what was going on. He quickly stood up from his chair and took that half step which had been separating him from his husband. Now he was hovering above him, not knowing what he should do, how he should help. He was fearing the worst but Wen Qing did not look like she wanted to deliver any horrible news. That, at least, reassured Lan Wangji the tiniest bit.

Wen Qing turned to him, that look of disbelief still clear on her face: "Young Master Lan, I think you have just found something which could help Wei Wuxian recover."

Lan Wangji's eyebrows flew sky high as Wen Qing gestured for him to check for himself. He took his husband's wrist gently and checked for his pulse and the amount of resentful energy coursing through his meridians. His eyes went wide when he realized that Wei Ying's pulse was now just the tiniest bit more pronounced and the resentful energy seemed to have settled down somewhat. He could have been imagining it but Wei Ying's hand seemed warmer than before and his chest was rising and falling with more ease.

Lan Wangji's heart started beating faster and an impossible hope was growing in his guts. Could it be that his husband has finally reached the turning point and was starting to get better?

Wen Qing looked at him and her expression was now pensive. "I have heard about the Gusu Lan sect's musical cultivation but I have never thought it was this powerful. You have been playing some sort of healing music for him, have you not? I think it was helping, if only a little bit. Do you perhaps also know a song which could help him to get rid of the resentful energy?"

Lan Wangji was frozen and at first, he could not answer. Then, the tentative hope finally grew tangible and he felt like his heart wanted to jump out of his chest with the sheer happiness he was feeling. They had finally found a way to help Wei Ying! And it was the song he had given to the other which had made it possible too.

He nodded to let Wen Qing know that there indeed was a song which could lower the levels of resentful energy of a place or of an object and eventually purify them.

He was not sure he wanted to go that far, after all, Wei Ying would still need some resentment inside of him if he wanted to continue using demonic cultivation. Lan Wangji understood the basics of how it worked and now that he knew that it was the only way for his husband to defend himself, he could not bear to take it fully away. But he would at least help him to get rid of the excess which was harming Wei Ying.