The meaning of protecting you with my life

Too late realization

Jiang Cheng had been fighting with Lan Wangji ever since he had felt hands lift him off the ground in front of the entrance to the Nightless City palace. He could have been insulting the Second Jade or begging him in tears, he had no idea, the only thing which his mind could focus on was Wei Wuxian who had just been left behind, seemingly without a second thought. He had been determined to escort his parents and his sister out of the danger and then storm the Qishan Wen sect hall with all he had, with all the fury which had accumulated inside of him during the months following the fall of Lotus Pier.

He had not had any sound plan, just a strong desire to leave Nightless City with his whole family, that meant including Wei Wuxian. He would have just stolen a sword from one of the guards, and had had assumed that his brother would do the same, and they would have all escaped together. They would fight and they would win, they were from the Yunmeng Jiang sect! So what if this was an utter nonsense and impossible to achieve, they would just do it.

Then, once they would all be safe, he would pull his brother to the side and yell at him to his heart's content for coming up with such a stupid plan for their rescue. Leave it to Wei Wuxian to always make the stupidest decision and to never think about the consequences. He could have planned at least ten other rescue options, but no, he just had to come up with the most dangerous one. Not only had he gotten himself caught as well, but it actually seemed like he had handed himself on a silver plate no less!

Why must he always be such a self-sacrificing idiot? He should have never even thought about exchanging his own life for theirs, but here they were. After hearing his mother's confession last night, he had little doubt from where exactly character this trait of his brother came from. How could have his mother been so cruel and ask him to sacrifice himself for them? And not just once!

That was what infuriated him even more. What if Wei Wuxian did not really want to give up his live for them but he had thought he had this duty? That he just had to protect them with everything he got, even if he would destroy himself in the process? Was his debt to the Yunmeng Jiang clan so great in his eyes? Was there even any to begin with? Who in their sound mind would ask a child to repay them for being taken in and cared for?

Jiang Cheng did not even want to think about what would happen to his brother now that he had went against Wen Ruohan and let them escape. But he could not do it, the horrors of what could be happening in the Nightless City throne room just kept coming back, his imagination supplying him with endless possibilities. Surely the Qishan Wen sect leader would not take it lightly. Would he kill Wei Wuxian on the spot? Was his brother even alive at this point?

Jiang Cheng's fist connected with a hard chest and he started mercilessly pounding into it, squirming around and trying to free himself from Lan Wangji's hold. They had to go back right now! There was no time to lose, not when Wei Wuxian had already been tired and injured when he had last seen him, he would not be able to put up a fight and escape on his own even if that had had been his intention.

Suddenly, Jiang Cheng stilled completely. A terrible realization just downed on him and threatened to swallow him whole. His brother had not intended to come back when he entered Nightless City.

No, of course he was not inclined to believe that he had actually came to Wen Ruohan to change sides, that would be utter nonsense. Especially when he had been asked to let his golden core be destroyed. He would no longer be able to cultivate like that unless it was the demonic cultivation.

It was not really the thought that Wei Wuxian had been ready to give up his cultivation, and his life, for his family in itself which horrified him. It was the realization that his brother had been already missing his golden core even before storming into Nightless City.

It would all make a twisted sense. Wen Zhuliu had said that there was no golden core for him to melt anymore after all and ha had been so shocked he had only come back to his senses after a long while. At that time, Jiang Chen had believed that he had just finished his awful deed, but right now, he was convinced that it was just a simple statement. Wei Wuxian had not had any golden core for him to melt. It must have happened way earlier.

Even before Wei Wuxian had been thrown into the Burial Mounds. For if that had not been the case, he would not have picked up the demonic cultivation. Jiang Cheng clearly remembered that his brother, despite always musing about how resentful energy could be used in cultivation, had always said it was too risky and that there was no way anyone would be able to properly control it. He had expressed so many doubts that Jiang Cheng just knew he would not have attempted it if it had not been his very last resort.

That only left one option however; he must have lost his golden core and cultivation of resentful energy really had been his last chance to ever cultivate again. And to protect his family and help in the war.

Though, when did it happen? Why did Jiang Cheng not notice until now? There were so many clues for him to pick up on. Wei Wuxian had seemed weaker and more tired all the time, he refused to carry his sword and Jiang Cheng had never seen him using spiritual energy, not even while activating his talismans. He had always avoided going to the infirmary but he had been even more adamant to not set foot anywhere near it during the Sunshot campaign. It would take no genius to deduce that something had been wrong.

Of course, Jiang Cheng had noticed changes in his brother's behaviour but he would not have guessed even in his wildest nightmares that it was because he had been missing his golden core.

Had he lost it during his time in the Burial Mounds? Had it perhaps been so damaged by the resentful energy that it had just dissipated on its own? No that was not possible, Jiang Cheng had never heard about such a thing before. So, another possibility would be that Wen Zhuliu had melted it when Wei Wuxian had been captured after they had fled Lotus Pier. No, that was impossible as well; the Core Melting Hand would not have even attempted to melt his brother's golden core again and he would not have looked so surprised upon touching him.

In the back of Jiang Cheng's mind, there was an insistent thought that he had pushed away for a long time already. But now, it resurfaced and he immediately knew that it was at that moment that Wei Wuxian had lost his golden core, protecting Jiang Cheng of all people. Yes, it must have been when he had pushed him out of Wen Zhuliu's way back in Lotus Pier.

Thinking back, it really must have been that moment, it seemed like a lifetime ago. Jiang Cheng wanted to weep, to hide form the whole world, to go back to Nightless City and kowtow to Wei Wuxian and apologize to him for not noticing and for making him suffer this much.

In the grief and anger he had felt after the fall of Lotus Pier, he had not been focusing on anything else but on going back. But now that he was revisiting his memories with a clear head, he could tell that he had been very rough with his already coreless and injured – Wei Wuxian had been whipped with Zidian just hours before that! How were his wounds now? Had they had a chance to heal properly? – brother. He had pushed him around, made him care for both him and his sister and he had even beaten him and blamed him for being too much of a coward to go back and fight.

He should have known that Wei Wuxian was anything but a coward! It was because any fight would have been pointless at that point, they would not have been able to stand up to the Wens, not with just an exhausted and grieving sect heir and a coreless and injured head disciple, both still inexperienced in the matter of wars and real life fighting. It must have hurt his brother deeply to be reminded about his sudden weakness and loss. Jiang Cheng had been such a fool!

TheYunmeng Jiang sect heir could feel his chest getting tighter and tighter withguilt. He now understood how his parents must have been feeling. He did notcare one bit about propriety nor how it would be embarrassing for him later, hejust buried his face in Lan Wangji's robes and wailed like a small child.