you first {minsung} DISCONTINUED

sixty-seven.

Jisung fiddled with his fingers nervously, refusing to look up at Minho, who he knew was staring at him. 

"Please? Can you talk to me?" Minho asked quietly. 

Jisung wanted to confess to Minho. He wanted to confess so, so badly. The problem was, it was so incredibly hard for him to accept the fact that he was gay. Sure, he told Minho and he told Felix, but at the same time, he knew that if his mom ever found out, she would go absolutely crazy. 

He was really really scared of her. 

He was also scared, somewhere deep inside of himself, that he was turning into his father. 

His father was the man who pretended to love him and his mom just to ultimately walk out for some fling. He was the man who always screamed at his mother and pushed her and threw things. He was the man who taught her how to do those things - so whenever Jisung's mom hurt him, maybe it was his dad's fault all along. 

And if he could see his dad's evil actions starting to manifest in his mom, how long until they manifested in him, too? 

"Jisung?" Minho said suddenly, his voice full of concern. "Are you okay?" 

Jisung snapped out of his thoughts and realized that there were a few tears running down his cheeks. 

Jisung shook himself, flicking the tears away. "Y-Yeah, yeah, I'm uh... I'm okay," he quickly responded. 

"Are you sure?" 

Jisung glanced up at Minho, and was surprised to see the absolute caring nature of the older boy's gaze. Minho looked concerned and worried and so so kind, and it made all of Jisung's emotions well back up. 

Jisung shook his head, sniffling quietly. "N-No," he choked out, and just like that, his vision started to blur as tears threatened to fall once again. 

Minho frowned, reaching forward to give Jisung a hug, but since they were sitting in his car, the center console got in the way a bit. Plus, rather than letting himself be hugged, Jisung instead put his hand on Minho's chest, holding him arm's distance away. 

Minho's brows furrowed. "Jisung...." he said quietly. "I'm here for you, you know. I care about you more than I've cared about anyone in my entire life. Fuck, I like you so much, but I've told you that already." He let out a small chuckle. "I'll always be here for you, cheering you on. I want to be someone you can always rely on. Please. Don't be sad alone." 

Jisung's hand, which was still resting on Minho's chest, slowly moved over to Minho's shoulder, running down his arm until it came to rest on Minho's wrist. Jisung took hold of his wrist and softly pulled it toward himself, placing Minho's hand to rest on his cheek. 

Jisung closed his eyes as he opened his mouth to speak, a few tears falling as Minho's hand gently cupped his cheek. "I'm sorry for running away last night," Jisung practically whispered, his eyes squeezed shut. "I'm a coward, as you already know." He gave a light laugh. 

Minho shook his head, although Jisung's eyes were closed so he couldn't see him. "No, you're not. Don't say that about yourself. You're incredible." 

Jisung smiled and leaned into Minho's hand slightly. He opened his eyes, looking right at Minho. "I-I.... I just.... You've met my mom. She's, um, really homophobic, and I-I don't know if you remember back when we had never met in person when we were texting and I told you I was gay but that my family's really homophobic. Yeah, uh, I was talking about my mom...." 

Minho nodded. "I remember." 

"Y-Yeah," Jisung continued shakily, trying desperately to be brave enough to keep eye contact as Minho kept his hand on Jisung's cheek. "I've always b-been so terrified to come out to my mom, b-because, well, something happened and she's really hurt and I don't w-want to hurt her more."