you first {minsung} DISCONTINUED

thirty-seven.

Changbin squeezed his eyes shut as he felt someone grab Hyunjin and pull him off of the older boy. 

Changbin could hear Hyunjin protesting and yelling at someone, but the sound seemed far away and distant, as if it was clouded by layers of lazy fog that rolled in unannounced, leaving Changbin feeling alone and empty. 

His legs shook violently, so he decided to put them out of their misery as he collapsed to the ground, a sobbing mess. 

He buried his face in his arms, trying to muffle the sound of his crying so Hyunjin wouldn't make fun of him like he usually did when he cried.

"It's okay, Changbin, you're safe," someone said softly, moving to wrap their arms around him, but he pushed them away desperately, still not opening his eyes.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" he screamed, terrified of everything and everyone.

Hyunjin's sickly honey-sweet voice echoed in his mind, haunting him. All the times he had told Changbin he loved him, all the times he had praised him, complimented him, given him a safe place where he could be himself - where he could be loved.

"See? He's fine," Hyunjin said, annoyed, but Changbin was unsure of whether the noise came from his memories or from real life. 

He was confused, cold, so scared. . . . His limbs were shaking and his mind was overrun with fear.

"How does he look fucking fine to you?!" someone else yelled in response, confirming that Hyunjin had actually spoken out loud and it wasn't just in Changbin's head. 

But Changbin couldn't focus anymore, everything was getting darker. . . .

"I-I think I'm having a p-panic attack," Changbin muttered, curling into a tighter ball as his breathing became shaky and sirens screamed in his mind.

Changbin tried to breathe deeply as panic streamed through his veins and he struggled to focus. He needed an anchor, something to root him back to reality.

Hyunjin groaned as he watched his boyfriend cry violently. "Oh my gosh, you're overreacting. Get over yourself."

And there it was. The voice of Hwang Hyunjin, Changbin's boyfriend, the only one who had been there for him, the only one who had loved him through all his ups and downs. 

Of course, Hyunjin had made a clear point of making sure his boyfriend knew this. 

Hyunjin was all he had, all that he could ever have. 

He could be the anchor, he would stay with Changbin and help him, comfort him, cuddle him and tell him that it would be okay.

"H-Hyunjin," Changbin said in a broken voice, crawling towards his boyfriend with his arms outstretched. He couldn't think, he just needed his loving boyfriend in this moment.

"Are you kidding me?!" the other person in the room said angrily. Changbin finally turned to face them, once he was secure in his boyfriend's embrace.

It was Felix.

"Changbin, what the hell are you doing?! He was literally about to fucking rape you!" Felix frantically shouted, his eyes as wide as saucers. "You're just going to crawl right back to him?!"

Hyunjin smirked. "What? Did you think he'd go to you for comfort?"

Changbin buried his face into Hyunjin's neck, saying nothing.

"Changbin!" Felix begged. "Changbin, please look at me. Please."

Changbin shook his head quickly, crying silently as Hyunjin held him.