Untouched (BWWM)

Forty-Two|Going home

The following morning doctor Johnson cleared me to go home. This resulted in me feeling multiple emotions at the same time. Happy because I'm ready to be able to sleep in my own bed for a change, nervous about seeing my parents, scared because now Kira and I have to venture out this protective bubble that's the hospital. Inside our babies are safe and free of harm, nothing can hurt them.

But outside, out in the real world, anything can happen. They can get hurt. We could get into a accident, they could get sick, without our bubble to shield them from germs, things in the world they have no defenses against.

It's physically terrifying walking through the hallway of the hospital. I hold one of the infants car seats, the one with Kai inside it, while Kira carries Kiren and the baby bag. Earlier he'd loaded our duffle bags into the truck so we'll have less things to carry.

It was a smart decision on his part.

One of these infant seats is heavy just by itself. Glancing over at Kira I see he's holding it together better than I am at this moment. His amber eyes are calm and collected, settled in his fatherly role of getting us home, safe and sound. I wish I could say the same for me.

Exiting into the lobby area, there's three staff waiting. Two seated behind computer desks, the last sitting beyond the doors, but not quite outside as there is a second set of doors.

Kira leads the way through those automatic doors. I breathe out as we step outside. The warm air premates through my face mask forming into tiny cloud of air which quickly float away before another replaces it. My face is hit with the thick cold dense wind that comes with winter.

Already so close to the hight of the season my body cries out for warmth.

"Watch your step baby. There's some frozen ice."

Kira's rough Russian voice commands. Causing me to take note of his instruction. I grip the handle of Kai's car seat and carefully step around the sleet of frozen ice I almost stepped on.

"Thanks. I didn't see it."

Kira nods leading us over to his majestic tall fortress like truck. The usual dark grey paint is sullied with dirt and water marks as if it snowed or rained last night.

"Its okay. Are you okay Detka? You seem really quiet."

He noticed. I'm not surprised. Kira always notices how I'm feeling. I can't be anymore thankful for his keen observation whenever it comes to me.

"I'm just nervous. I don't know if it's because they're so fragile but I want to shelter them from danger."

We stopped at the truck. Kira unlocks the back door being quick of securing Kiren's and Kai's car seats. I'm sadly not tall enough to reach inside to do this.

We might need to consider getting another vehicle that's more baby proof.