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Tw: brief mentions about suicidal thoughts

Harry

Time is going by too fast. We just got here and now we're leaving tomorrow. Thank god I still have a few more days with Grace, Elias and Holly. I don't know how I'm going to handle the real goodbye. All I know is I have to tell her I love her before she leaves.

It's almost slipped out a few times. Last night when we were having sex I almost said it, but I had to stop myself. That wasn't the time or place to be saying something like that, especially to her. Before while we were on the boat after we made that little Tik Tok video it almost slipped out again.

I'm not even sure if she's ready to hear those words. I could say them and she could totally freak out and never want to see me again. I think that's what's scaring me the most. The possibility that the girl I'm in love with would never love me back. Her past relationships ruined her and she might never love again. I wouldn't blame her at all, but it would still be heartbreakingly sad.

But I don't have to worry about that right now. That's an issue to deal with in two days. Right now, I just have to enjoy the beach with my beautiful girlfriend and two best friends. That's just a little hard considering we're all pretty bummed out about leaving.

"Guys, we could just stay here." I offer again, hoping if I say it enough they'll just eventually give in.

Eli's the first to sigh, "I can't. Katherine's waiting for me to get back to start this new renovation project in the apartment." he starts, but I quickly cut him off. "She could come! I could buy her a plane ticket right now and have her on the first flight out."

He gives a small smile but shakes his head, "I also have to get back to work. It was hard enough convincing them to let me take three weeks off in a row."

I turn to Holly, "Okay Eli's out, but we could all stay." I try, but I could feel Grace's hand rub my shoulder gently as we all sit in the sand.

"I have work too. And rent is due in like a week and a half so we have to go back to work." Holly explains.

"I'll pay your rent for the next six months."

"Babe." Grace's voice gently breaks through the air. I turn to look at her, frowning a bit as I see the sad smile across her features. "We have to go back."

I can tell she wants to stay. It's written in her eyes. They look so terribly sad and conflicted, but she's standing her ground. She has to go home. They can't just do their job from anywhere. They have responsibilities back home, lives that I'm not a part of.

Is this just a summer fling? Is Grace going to go home and completely forget about me? Am I just going to turn into this guy that pops up on her social media accounts every once in a while? Have I fallen for another girl that's just going to rip my heart into a million pieces?

"Fine, you have to go back. But at least while you're back in London, you guys are staying with me. My place is big enough and I'm sure my mum and sister are going to want to spend every moment they can with you." I insist.

Of course, Grace starts shaking her head, "Harry, we already have the hotel booked and they're going to be staying at your place already, we shouldn't overcrowd them."

"Nonsense! I have plenty of rooms for everyone to sleep comfortably and I want you all there. I'm not taking no for an answer so cancel your hotel room and stay with me. If you don't I'm going to make sure you miss check in and then you'll lose out on the money." I warn. I wouldn't actually have them lose money because of me, I would pay them back, but that's more motivation for them to cancel the hotel.

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