With or without you

Chapter 4

Instead of going home Gray took us to get some drinks from sonic, and then drove us to the baseball fields. Right near our house there are baseball fields that are for kids anywhere from the age of five to fifteen. Since its winter there's no one here. Gray and I found this spot one night after he and his girlfriend at the time had broken up. That night was brutal. She had cheated on him with one of the other football guys. To make matters worse, she was his first. We don't talk about her much. She destroyed him, but he is a guy, so after that night we never really talked about it again. Every now and then when we would see her in school he'd move a bit closer to me, since she never really liked me, but that was it.

When we pulled in and parked Gray started eating his food. I sipped on my drink and tried not to think about her. I brought her here a couple times. There was one time that she had called me and asked if I wanted to go drive around. It was late already and my parents were asleep, so I just snuck out, I couldn't tell her no. I got in my car and drove to her house to pick her up. We drove around for almost an hour, just talking. There was so much tension in the air. I felt nervous and excited all at the same time. When we came to a stop sign I looked at her for just a second, but before I knew what was going on her lips were on mine. I felt myself smile against her lips, and then she did the same. I closed my eyes and let myself kiss her, that is until we heard a honk behind us. I pulled back and just smiled, then pressed the gas to go. After our kiss, I couldn't focus on driving anymore, all I could think about was her. I drove us to the baseball fields so we could be alone, and so that we wouldn't have to worry about anyone seeing us. I parked the car and then looked at her.

"I bet I know what you're thinking." She said. I just smiled.

"Yeah?" she nodded her head.

"What am I thinking?" She didn't say anything. She reached over and gently placed her hand on my knee. She leaned into me and got so close that I could feel her breathing on my lips. My heart was pounding. I realized that I was holding my breath. Her hand slowly slid up my leg. I looked down as it moved. When I looked back up at her, she still had that smile on her face, the one that drove me crazy. I leaned in and finally closed the distance between our lips. She moved her hand to my cheek and then traced her fingers down my neck and to my chest and between my breast. The motion was soft and gentle, and it sent shivers through my body. Along with the shivers came this rapid heat that moved through me. I could feel myself getting...

"You have got to stop zoning out like that." Gray said.

"Oh, sorry." I mumbled. I looked down at my arm and realized I had goose bumps.

"So, I was talking to Austin." I looked up at him from my straw.

"Yeah?"

"He was asking if you were with anyone." I sort of smiled.

"I had the biggest crush on him in middle school." Gray just laughed.

"Yeah I know you loser."

"What'd you tell him?"

"I just said I'd talk to you." I looked down again. Like I said before, I had the biggest crush on him in middle school. Gray would listen to me talk about how cute he was or how much I liked his hair, and how pretty his eyes were. Her eyes were prettier.

"I'm not interested. Not now at least."

"Yeah I figured, but it was worth a shot." I didn't say anything.

"But he is super-hot, and have you seen his hair? And oh my god those eyes."

"Shut up Gray." I couldn't help but laugh. He was making fun of me. We stayed there for a while just talking. Gray and I have always been able to talk about everything. He and I have talked about the first time that he had sex with Nicole. We've discussed the first time I had sex with Conner. There are no secrets between us. I even know where he keeps the pocket knife that his grandpa gave him right before he died. Gray was the first person to know that I like girls too. My family doesn't even know. He's the only person who knows, well besides her.

"I'm just saying." He laughed. For the next hour or so we just sat and talked about everything. He was very careful not to bring her up, and not to talk about her. I was grateful for that. By the time Gray took me home it was already going to be 9 o'clock. When I walked in my family was already asleep. I crept my way to the bathroom so I could take a shower. After I'd gotten out and dried off and put my clothes off I got into bed. I stared at the ceiling again. Being alone in the dark, with no noise gave my brain time to think freely. I laid there for a while, trying not to think. I laid perfectly still, thinking that if I didn't move I would fall asleep faster. I was already starting to doze off when I heard my phone buzz. Groggily I sat up and reached for my glasses. Once those were on I tapped on my phone. The light was too bright so it took me a second for my eyes to adjust. My heart dropped into my stomach when I saw the message. It was one question.

Are you okay?