With or without you

Chapter 24

Monday morning, I felt off. I had spent the weekend with Gray. After I'd spent the night we ended up staying together the whole next day. We didn't do much, just ran some errands. Gray and I don't have to do much to be content with each other. We are perfectly comfortable just sitting in silence. Other people don't like hanging out with us much because they end up feeling ignored, or like a third wheel. At least that's what Riley said.

Walking into the school I felt a nervousness wash over me. What if Lauren told someone about me and Riley. What if somehow someone found out? The way Riley looked at me after Lauren walked in was still clinging to my memory. I had been able to ignore these worries over the weekend because I was with Gray, and because I was away from school and all these people. My mind then jumped to the moment when she and I were in the car about to go into the party. I know that I always say that I was okay with being her secret, but it still hurts to know she won't even walk into a house at the same time I will. My mind was just reeling. Going over everything that had happened that Friday night. It was all just playing in my head. Things with Riley are so complicated. One moment we aren't talking. The next we're having sex. Then we're pretending to be strangers again, then she's asking me to go to her game? It's all just so confusing. I know it must be for her too, but she doesn't talk to me about how she's feeling. I can only guess what has been going through her mind. I wonder if she's worrying about my stupid sister? Or maybe she is still worrying about that last shot at the game. I don't know. It's just a mess.

"Stop thinking so hard. I can see the smoke coming off your head." Gray said.

"I can't help it."

"Worrying isn't going to change anything. So just stop thinking about it."

"That's easy for you to say."

"Yeah. It is. That's why I said it." I rolled my eyes.

"I don't even know what you're worrying about. You said Lauren isn't going to tell anyone. So, who cares. You just do whatever she wants for a while, she'll get bored and then move on to something else." I hate that he always knows what I'm thinking. I wish what he said were true though. He doesn't know my sister the way I do. Lauren is the baby. She gets everything she wants whenever she wants it. That's just how it is in my family. Of course, I never bought in to her theatrics, and that drove her insane. She hates that I don't do the things she wants when she wants, and I don't treat her like she can do no wrong. Now that she has this over me though, it's hard to not feel trapped. If she tells anyone, and certain people find out, Riley will never speak to me again, and what's worse is that she would have to deny even knowing me. I know it sounds fucked up, and it is, but the situation is just too complicated. If someone found out Riley would be screwed. I don't care if people know about me, but they can't know about her. It would ruin everything for her. I felt Gray slap the back of my head slightly.

"What did I say?"

"Quit hitting me. I can't help it. I feel like I'm just trapped in my head."

"Well find the key and escape. You can't live up there forever." I just rolled my eyes. He's right though. I can't just stay in my head all day.

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After our last period Gray snuck out of class a little early because he said he wanted to go shoot or something before practice. As I walked down the hall I couldn't hear anything because I had my headphones on. I made sure that my hair was covering them because we're not technically supposed to have them on during school. Like I said, I couldn't hear so when I felt a pair of hands on both my shoulder it scared the hell out of me.

"What the hell?" I practically screamed. I turned around to see Riley just smirking at me.

"Hey." She smiled. I loved her smile. I looked around to see if her posse was around, but they weren't. It was just her.

"What's up Rye." This is a nickname that only I call her. I don't actually know how to spell it either.

"What're you doing today?" I didn't answer right away.

"Nothing. Going to go watch Gray's practice."

"Do you want to hang out?" At this I gave her a strange look.

"Don't you have practice?" Her season has just started. Theres no reason she shouldn't have practice today.

"I told them I have a doctor's appointment."

"Why would you do that?"

"So, we can hang out." I just looked at her. Like I said. This is all just so confusing. She wants to hang out with me?

"And what are you going to do if I say no?" At this she looked up at the ceiling for a second.

"Go home and watch TV I guess." I let out a sigh and rolled my eyes.

"Fine. What do you want to do?" She gave me a stupid smile then said,

"Well we could..."

"Oh, I get it. You just want me for sex." At this she stopped dead in her tracts and her face grew serious. I walked back to her and just stood in front of her. I didn't say anything. I felt like I was in trouble.

"That's not all I want you for." Her eyes were piercing.

"I know that Riley." Without missing a beat, she smiled and said

"Good. Now lets go get food. I'm hungry."