With or without you

Chapter 29

Gray has two more games to play if he wins this one before he goes to the state championship. This is the last home game that they'll play. If they win this one then the next three are all out of town. There's still 20 minutes before the game actually starts. As all the people file in I got this feeling. I've said this before and I'll say it again. Before her I had no problem being alone at his games. I was used to it. It didn't matter that I didn't sit with all our 'friends'. I preferred not to. Now though, I'm just so aware of the fact that I'm alone even though I'm surrounded by all these people. Riley and the group had chosen to sit in the school section at the bottom corner whereas I was in the middle of the bleachers at the top. It was the best place to see everything that was going on. I was already accepting the fact that I would be watching alone when I heard someone shouting

"Tess, hey Tess." I looked over to see Austin wading through people in the bleachers trying to get to me. I laughed a little when he accidentally knocked off a guys hat and then picked it up and apologized.

"Hey Austin."

"Hey." He smiled once he'd sat down. Austin plays football with Gray, not basketball.

"Nice weather we're having." He smirked. I just laughed a little.

"Yeah. It's nice and cold."

"Do you like the cold?" he asked.

"Yeah. I do."

"Nice. Me too." I had never realized how big of a dork Austin actually is. The few times we've talked were at parties when he's had a few drinks or was with his friends and felt more comfortable.

"Do you always sit over here during the games?"

"Yeah. I can see everything from up here."

"You're right. This is way better than the student section. Especially because everyone's standing the whole game. Can't even sit and enjoy it. You're smart to sit over here. I think I'll join you if you don't mind"

"I don't mind at all." I smiled. I felt myself wanting to look to where she was, but I wouldn't let myself. I don't want her to catch me looking. I don't want her to know I want her to look at me. That I want her to see me.

"If they win are you going to go to the out of town game?"

"I'm not sure. I don't really want to have to drive all that way by myself."

"You should come with me! I can drive." I just smiled again. I had doubts about driving with him to a game that's two hours away. I think he could see the concern on my face.

"Totally platonic if you want. I will be a perfect gentleman. Scouts honor." He said.

"I'll think about it. How does that sound?"

"Sounds perfect to me." He smiled. When he smiled I could see that he was being genuine. His smile just felt real. Sometimes when she would smile, I could tell it was fake. She would smile at her friends or at her parents or to other people, and it would be so convincing that they would smile and laugh right along, but I could always see it in her eyes. When she was with her friends she was always the punchline in the joke, but she would smile and laugh like it didn't bother her. With her parents when they would make little comments about her or things she wasn't doing right, she would smile and pretend that it was fine, that they were just joking. Always a joke, but it was never funny. I realized that I was falling into my head again. I turned to Austin and said

"So why didn't you play basketball?" I need to stop thinking about her.

"Oh, that's an easy one. You see the point of the game is to get the ball in the basket, and I cannot do that." I laughed. For a while we just talked. I'd ask a question he'd answer, he'd ask something, I'd answer, and then we would just be talking about random things. It was nice. For a while I really did stop thinking about her, then the buzzard rang, letting us know that the game was going to start.

I watched as the boys walked back to their benches, their coaches giving them the obligatory pep talks prior to the tip off. Austin and I had both grown silent with anticipation and nervousness on my end. Gray isn't the tallest so he never has to do the jump. As the boys walked on the court I saw as Gray jumped around on his toes. He's nervous too. The guy in stripes grabbed the ball and walked to the center of the court where the two tallest boys were standing. Once in position he waved his arms towards one basket then the other. He then put his whistle in his mouth. He held the ball between the boys, blew the whistle, and threw the ball in the air. Here we go.

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Back and forth. Up and down the court. Play after play the boys fought. It looked like an actual battle field. The other team was playing hard and at times somewhat dirty. Both teams were moving at top speeds. The other team was fast, but they weren't organized. They didn't really run plays, the more relied on their speed to the ball to their side of the court so they could score. We had better defense than they did though. It felt like the game was going by so fast that if I blinked it would be over. By the end of the third quarter they were tied 64-64.

As the fourth quarter started I felt myself getting even more nervous for Gray. He was playing harder than I'd ever seen him play. He had already made a lot of baskets just himself and he had some good assists. At least that's what Austin said. Austin and I were both commentating on the game as it went by. It was nice to have someone there who really understood basketball that way I could ask questions and actually get answers.

With a minute left on the clock we were down by two points. I felt the nervous energy in me growing. I watched as our boys threw the ball in and started down to their side of the court. They had to be smart. They needed a three to win. Gray's good at those. His teammate had the ball and was coming down the center of the court. Gray was underneath the basket standing behind the other tall boy. I watched as Gray faked out his guy and ran to the top of the three-point line. 30 seconds left. The boy passed Gray the ball. He took the ball in his hand and threw it in the air towards the basket. It hit the front of the rim and bounced off. Before the ball had even touched the rim, Gray was running towards it like he knew where it was going to go. Before anyone knew what was going on Gray was in the air jumping over everyone else to grab the ball. Once he had a hand on it he passed it out to one of the boys who was on the three-point line. 10 seconds left. The boy set his feet, and with three of the other team's boys running at him he shot the ball. I felt myself grab Austin's hand. I can't tell you why. But when the ball went into the basket with a little swish, the whole crowd erupted with screams and cheers. Austin and I raised our hands in the air and screamed. We won. Gray won.