Niall's Secret Sister

Chapter 33

Allison’s POV

He pulled me into his bedroom. The second he shut the door behind him I was pulled into his firm chest. His arms were wrapped around me tightly as my uncontrollable sobs were spilling. He was making hushing tones from his mouth as he rubbed my back lightly. He was trying to get me to calm down, and with his soothing actions it worked, but it didn’t stop the tears. Nothing could.

We just stood there.  His arms were wrapped around me as mine were around him. He was rocking me slowly as my tears were collecting on his chest. My body was trembling in his arms and his touch was helping me a lot more than he probably knew.

Just being close to him again made me feel a whole lot better. I missed him. Us avoiding each other made me realize why I fell for him in the first place.

It’s that safe and comforting feeling I get from him that keeps me in place. Without that, I would have been out the door a long time ago.

He gives me a feeling that I crave, and a feeling that not many people can give. He cares about me, and wants the best for me. What more can I ask for?

“Shh, Allison it’s okay.” He mumbled into my hair. His lips left a kiss at the top of my head.

Trying to become stable was difficult. All I can think about is Niall, Harry, Liam, Louis and Zayn. They’re all going to be so crushed.

I’m leaving my own brother after he’s done so much for me.

“Nothing’s going to be okay.” The words grumbled out of my mouth as I sucked in a breath. My head was still leaning against his chest as I tried to stop my tears.

My hand clutched at his shirt, trying to keep myself as close to him as possible.

“I promise everything will be okay if you don’t go.”

I found myself rolling my eyes. It’s like he keeps forgetting we already had this conversation.

I began to push at his chest hoping to wiggle my way out of his grip, but his hold was tight and after seeing me cry he wasn’t willing to let me go.

But that didn’t stop me from trying. I have to leave whether he likes it or not.

“Let me go, Zayn.” I mumbled sternly as I wiped my tears away.

My words only caused him to hold me tighter. His jaw was tensed as he shook his head.

“I’m never going to let you go. Why can’t you understand that? Why can’t you understand that I’m in love with you and I won’t stop trying to keep you safe? No matter how angry I get at you, it won’t change a damn thing. No matter what, I’ll always try to keep you here.”

“But I have to go.” I whispered. I took the chance of making eye contact with him- which I regret. I haven’t really looked at him lately.

He looks like he’s lost a lot of sleep. The bags under his eyes only supporting my thoughts. His eyes had a shade of pink from the lack of rest, and all his perfect features looked tired and uncared for. He looked tired and sad and I hate knowing that it had to be my fault. His face had prickles of hair that hasn’t been shaven in days. It’s like he hasn’t really been here for the past few days because all he has been focused on was me. Although we weren’t talking and I was pretty sure he hated me, he still cared. He still loves me as much as I love him.

 He shook his head, as he chuckled. “But you don’t.”

“Do you not understand, Zayn? I do have to go! I don’t have a choice. If I stay he won’t just hurt me, but he’ll hurt you... and everyone else. I can’t risk that!”