Love Worth Dying For (RusAme)

I Hate You, I Love You

Russia's POV:

I couldn't stop thinking about that one night. America said he wouldn't make anymore moves on me, yet he tried to kiss me. Ugh. Yet, for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to hate him. Also, I don't know why, but I completely froze up when he leaned in his head towards me. Like a deer in the headlights, I wanted to run away so badly yet for some reason I just couldn't. Although I was a little tipsy from the vodka, so maybe that affected it. But, well, he already guilt tripped me last time so I didn't want to go through that again, so I kept hanging out with him.  But each time I hung out with him, it just felt awkward. I kept getting this sudden fear or nervousness whenever I was around him, it felt like I had butterflies in my stomach.

"What you thinkin' about, Russ?" America sat down next to me.

"Nothing..........." I mumbled. For some reason, I couldn't look at him in the eyes. I just felt so nervous. This feeling frustrated me so much.

"Awwww come on, you were definitely thinking about something............." he continued to tease me.

"S-seriously, i-it's nothing..........." I stuttered. I felt my face begin to heat up. Oh god, was I............blushing!?!??!?! But why!??!?!?!?! I'm not gay. I don't like him in that way, I swear!!!!!

"Russ, are you...........blushing????" America nudged my shoulder. "I knew it, you do like me!!!!!!" He threw his arms around me. But why did it feel so............nice............Well he is my closest friend. Yeah. That's totally it. Totally.

"WHAT!??!??!?! No............I don't like you..........it's just.........hot in here.............yeah..........." God why did that sound like such a lie.............he put his gloved hand onto mine. It felt so warm. And comforting. I looked over to Ame, who now had a smirk on his face. Ugh he's totally getting ideas............

"Well then I can cool you off in a.............WATER FIGHT!!!!!!!!!" he shouted as he grabbed a water gun that was inside the pool. I stepped outside the door and he sprayed me with a stream of water, getting my shirt soaking wet.

"Oh, you're gonna get it!!!!!!!!" I mumbled as I picked another gun out of the water and sprayed him back.

"Oooooooooooh, Ame, your boyfriend's mad!!!!!!" Australia came out of nowhere and shouted. Now I was fuming mad.

"STOP SAYING HE'S MY BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!" I sprayed him with the gun but he just laughed it off. He also grabbed a gun and we all began shooting each other. This lasted for quite a while, that is until America fell into the pool. I think he was high on the weed again.

"MY PEEPEE WENT BYE BYE FOR THE WINTERRRRRR!!!!!!!!!" he moaned. (If anyone gets that reference I love you.) Yep, he's definitely high.

"Ame, noooooo!" I shouted and stared at him, as Aussie sprayed me with more water, nearly knocking me in. "Ahhhh, screw it!" My shirt was already soaked so I just jumped into the pool with him. I grabbed his shoulders and gazed into those eyes again. I swear I could feel our hips touch.

"Awwwwww, come on Russia just admit you love him!!!!!!" Aussie teased me again.

"No!" I shouted back. Oh god, that made it sound like I liked him but didn't want to admit it...........Both him and America started laughing for some reason, and my face started to feel warm again.

"Okay you three, dinner's ready!!!!!" UK shouted, it looks like he made chicken or something. We all went in but had to dry off first.

America's POV:

Mmmmmmm, my dad always makes the best chicken!!!! But, once again, I couldn't stop thinking about Russia. The past few days he has been acting...........strange. He always looks lost in thought and would always look away from me. And when he does that his face turns pink. He keeps saying he's "not gay" and "doesn't like me" but then why else would be avoid looking at me? Maybe he's embarrassed he yelled at me and feels guilty? Unfortunately that was probably the reason. He was so cute when he did it though. It just made me fall in love with him even more. It was so annoying knowing I couldn't have him.

After dinner was down he sat on the couch and wrapped himself up in a blanket. I of course sat down next to him.

"Hey Russ wanna watch a movie?" I asked him.

"Uhhhhhh...........sure." He answered. I grabbed the remote and put on one of my favorite movies, Jurassic Park. "Have you seen this before?"

"No............." he mumbled.

"What???? You haven't seen Jurassic park!?!?!?" I was genuinely shocked.

"No..............but you just ate a dinosaur."

"Huh!?!??!!?"

"The chicken we ate...........you know birds evolved from dinosaurs right." He asked.

"Oh yeah............I guess they do say that in the movie. But I'm surprised you knew that."

"Meh, I learned some stuff growing up." He said as I turned on the movie. I guess Russia is smarter than I thought. I got under the blanket as I watched the movie with him. By the end of the movie, I was exhausted. All the running around and jumping in the water made me really sleepy.

I rested my head onto Russia's shoulder, and eventually collapsed into his chest. He was wearing a very fluffy and warm sweater so it was really cozy. But I'm really surprised he didn't seem that bothered by it. Not at all. My head was on his soft, warm chest, and I felt him put the blanket on top of me. He wrapped his arm around my back and his legs around mine. I shifted my head a little and could hear his heartbeat. It was so soothing, and peaceful. It's strange to think I used to hate this boy. But then he showed me another side of himself that I didn't get to see before. And I loved it. But it was also such a tease. I wished I could have him. I wished so desperately this guy would love me back. I felt a warm hand petting the back of my head, and I felt my senses slowly slip away.

Russia's POV:

I looked down at America, who was laying his head on my chest. He just made me feel so...........loved. I was gazing at the star pattern on his forehead, I began counting the starts. 1.....2......3......45.......46.......47. 47? His eyes began to shut. Wait, there were some stars on his eyelids. 48........49........50. I began to hear his breathing. He totally fell asleep on me, didn't he? Ugh..........he's so cu-wait why would I even think that!?!??!?!!? Is it possible???? I thought about what Ukraine said to me. That if I get a nervous feeling.........and I feel all warm and fuzzy inside........that's what love feels like. Was what I was feeling..........love???? Ugh my dad would've killed me..........

My eyes began to feel heavier and heavier by the second, and a wave of comfort washed over me. I shut my eyes and let sleep take me away.

"Awwwwww look at you two lovebirds!!!!!!" I heard a voice as I slowly woke up. I saw Aussie and Canada looming over me. I then looked down and noticed who was still cuddling up to me. I didn't even feel mad. Just embarrassed.

America lifted his head up from my chest, still groggy and tired.

"Okay seriously, you two would make an adorable couple!" Canada gushed as I just rolled my eyes.