Can you show me? Part 2

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Pls guys, it's cool that you liked the chapter but please keep an eye on your language. Please don't get me wrong but it's really hard for me to write smut and especially the first part of this bc it's betray/cheating and one of the comments is really making me uncomfortable. The comment got reported bc of being offensive. I woke up to all of this. I really like your guys comments but please be friendly and think about it, if it could make someone feel uncomfortable.
Thanks 🙏 love you guys <3

(It's midnight, sorry if there are even more mistakes. Still English is not my native language.)
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Natasha pov:
The next few days were a bit weird but nothing bad. We still did everything normal just the talking was weird but it's getting a lot better. I don't know why I did this, not because I didn't liked it but because now it only hurts me more. This made me fall in love with her even more and I know I can't have her. I was sitting on my bed lost in this thoughts. I had tears in my eyes which is weird but it just shows again how much this whole situation hurts me. It's around noon and we got called down over FRIDAY for lunch but I told FRIDAY that I wasn't hungry so that they don't have to wait for me.
I lay back down in my bed and cuddle myself in my blanket. My brain went empty, my feelings numb but it's nothing new for me. I guess I just have one of this days again.

A few hours later my door got pushed open without knocking and Y/N runs in. I sit up and she jumps on my bed after the door was closed again. "Jeez, Y/N, please stop going into my room without knocking, we don't want that you gonna caught my by doing something, do we?" I giggle and she start giggling too. "I mean I wouldn't complain, you're hot." She teases. "Ok maybe not you but what about your boyfriend?" I ask her in a teasingly. "Well yeah, that's a point but he's jealous anyway." She shrugs.
"Why?" I ask her and getting serious again. "Well he knows I'm pan and he saw you and how close we are. Also he got really insecure about his body after he saw the other boys. I told him he doesn't have to worry about it but well." I start to worry a bit. "Why didn't you told me?" I ask her and look at her. She couldn't keep the eye contact and looks down.
"Yeah because I didn't want you to worry or well I don't know." I put my fingers under her chin and force her to look at me. "But are you happy in that relationship?" "Yeah, I guess. It's just really exhausting to always go over the same conversation again and again."
I put her in my arms and we lay down together. "And what are you not telling?" I ask her and she tenses. "You know, sometimes I forget that you are trained to notice everything." She turns her head to me and forces a smile. "So?" I ask her again but this time my stomach is buzzing. "Have you eaten something?" Now she asks me. "No but that's not the point in this conversation." This time I shrug it off. "Nat, talk to me." "Ok fine, I'm gonna eat something and you tell me what you left out." She sighs knowing that she can get me to talk about it.
We go down and I took a banana so she is happy and she took one too. We go back up to my room and sit down on my bed again.
"So talk." I demand but still friendly. "Oki uhm we had sex." "And?" I ask her excitingly. On the one hand I really want to know it but also I don't but that doesn't matter right? She is always there for me and listens to everything so I need to do this too, even if it hurts me.
"I think it was nice, I don't know what you want to hear." She mumbles. "That doesn't sounds convincing or happy." "Well uhm you know." She shrugs. "No I don't know. What is it?" I ask her worryingly. "Sure I was ready, somehow but I only really did it to save our relationship. It was the wrong reason to do it and so it turned out. My body wasn't relaxed and it just hurted. I faked so it was finally over." I got tears in my eyes, hearing this. My heart stings and take her in my arms.
"I don't want our relationship to end, I don't want to break his heart. But I don't think I can still do that." She whispers. "Honey you need to listen to yourself, if you are not happy anymore then it's not worth it. And if you really don't want to give up the relationship and give it a second chance and you should sit down with him and talk truly about everything." She nods. I pull her away and saw that there were tears running down so I wipe them carefully away.
"Let's distract you with a our favorite series, ok?" She nods and we lay down together. For dinner we ordered our favorite food. We both are comforting each other even if we are feeling not so good because of each other. Just being with each other helps us.

Y/N pov:
It was now two months ago that I had my first time with my boyfriend and since them he was even more clingy, jealous and wanted to do it more often. I wanted to give us a chance so I let it happen some times.
Right know we are in the tower and I really need to end it. I thought it would be a good thing cause if he is gonna have a stupid reaction, I know if have my friends in my back to help me. Again he started to kiss my neck and I know what he was about to do. I pull him away from me, told him to sit down and that we have to talk. After I told him everything that bothers me and that we are done, I had tears in my eyes.
Without a word that runs out of my room and I guess out of the tower. I start crying and cuddle myself up in my blanket. Two warm, strong hands are the next thing I realized. I know it was Nat because of her perfume so I just let it happened. She picks me up into her lap, my head on her chest and she hugs me tightly.
"It's ok honey, it's ok." She whispers and other comforting words.

A hard time started but I always had Natasha on my side. It helped a lot but also it just made me feel even harder for her but she just likes me in a friendship way, right?!
After some time I couldn't take it anymore, I told her that we have to talk.
"Natasha, I'm sorry but I have to tell you something." She looks scared, right, the Black Widow looks scared. "Ok because I don't know how to say this, I'm just gonna say it. I fell for you. Not just now while I'm single, I was in love with you even before I asked you for that one thing but I didn't realized. I can understand if you hate me now or I-" I got cut off by her lips on mine. God I missed this feeling so hard. She pulled away for air. "I fell in love with you the day I met you and that you are saying this now that the feelings are mutual, you made me the happiest person with it." She leans in again for a second kiss.
I love you, Natasha. I whisper.
I love you too, Y/N. She whispers back.

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