𝟐𝟑

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(drug use/ mild suicidal thoughts)

KENSINGTON, LONDON
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 3RD
3:45 P.M.

JOURNAL ENTRY FROM EREN/LETTER

from august 25th

Y/N,

If you're reading this, that means I've already left for school. I hate the saying "well if you love them let them go," but I guess it applies. I can't stand knowing I wouldn't see you barely if we were together throughout college, so I have to let you go. I know this will hurt you, and I'm sorry. I know how much you hate that word. You probably won't forgive me, ever. And I'm not asking you too.

Truth be told, I already know that you'll never leave my mind. I can't stop thinking about everything that's happened with us, from the very beginning all the way to the end. Me and you have very different paths in our future, and we both know that.

I never told you how much I love you, and I regret that so badly. I never wanted to tell you I was leaving in the first place because I know you well enough to know how you would react. You would act like you're fine with it when you aren't.

I think the first time I knew that I'm in love with you was when we were on the trip to the museum during school. Remember when Levi called us all shitbags? I fell in love with you more and more each day.

Besides that, after that I knew you were the person I wanted to be with forever. I know forever is a stretch, but it's what I felt and still do. I don't know about you and how you feel about me anymore, but I like to think you're my right person,wrong time right now. Y/N, I would do anything in the world to go back, but I already accepted the spot at the school that you put my name in for. Why did you do that? That's been staying in my mind ever since I found out. You knew how much I wanted to get in there, and you knew if I got accepted I probably would take the spot.

You closed the journal and stopped reading, this was the third time you read the same entry already, and there was still more to read. You grabbed his journal off the desk and brought it back with you home and that's all you've been reading. All the pages were filled with the thoughts and feelings of Eren, all the entries had something to do with you. Dots of dried tears from Eren were on all of the pages that you had read so far. You couldn't even cry anymore, your eyes just felt dry.

You never left your room, and all the lights were off. Clothes were scattered on your floor, and empty plates of food were sitting on your vanity. The past week,you tried calling Eren nonstop but there was no answer. You even went as far as calling him from Annie's phone, still no answer. What the fuck?

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